Adoption isn't for everyone in every season.
Not everyone should adopt and of those who should or can...
not everyone should adopt siblings.
But if you are thinking about it...
and wondering about logistics of adopting siblings...
here's my perspective on the whole thing!
Obviously I am partial to siblings.
Our babies were on the waiting child list
with our agency and when we were
finally approved to adopt them
we felt like we had won the lottery!
We couldn't believe that we could be so
fortunate as to be blessed THREE times over!
As we kept going in our process...
I struggled to find an "adoption twin".
You know...
someone like you...
adopting a child or children of the same ages,
in the same part of the process as you,
and with the same number of kids at home already.
Clearly that's a tall order...
but its always nice to have someone who just "gets it"
to go through the process with.
I was unable to find someone adopting three at once, who were all pre-school ages... much less with four at home already. This sometimes gave me anxiety... like, do they all know something we don't know??!
When we got to the point when we traveled to Ethiopia and we met our babies for the first time... I can't even tell you how thankful I was that we had been chosen for our kiddos! We knew they were perfect for our family from day one, and we never thought differently!
Where you find the fork in the road is in the transition.
Our first night together when we took custody, our kids were nervous - but they had each other.
That first trip in a car together - they had each other.
When we didn't speak their language and didn't know what they wanted - they had each other.
In the middle of the night, boarding an airplane with relative strangers - they had each other.
When we got home and everything in their whole world was suddenly different - they had each other.
Strange people, strange smells, strange sounds, big dog... but they had each other!
We have been home over 5 months now and they still sing songs in Wolaytinga
because they sing them TOGETHER.
And from our perspective...
our kiddos couldn't be any more perfect.
The big 4 love the little 3...
they play together,
they act just like normal siblings,
they fight over toys,
little brother eats big brothers Nerf darts,
and they all blame the younger one for
EVERYTHING.
It's normal.
It's a family.
And it's OUR family.
It doesn't feel weird...
or strange..
or like anything...
but our family!
So if you are wondering if you can adopt siblings...
yes you can.
And it's wonderful
and amazing
and there are SO many wonderful siblings out there
BIG sibling groups and sibling pairs too..
who don't know if they will ever be chosen
because they come with each other.
But that, in itself, is the blessing of adopting siblings!!
Thank you for the encouragement. I do so appreciate it. We get SO many "are you sure"s and so few "you can do it"s. I imagine you can relate.
ReplyDeleteYou are the only person I know who has kids that still speak/sing in their native tongue after that much time home. My friends have 4 from Russia...2 came home together, then later the 2nd 2 came home together...and all they speak is English.
ReplyDeleteYou should record their songs and give the cd's to people like me :) :) :)
It sounds like they are from the Wolayta region. My siblings are from there (and had been in an orphanage there since May) and were just moved last week to Addis. Were your sibs at an orphanage in that region?
ReplyDeleteEven though mine have a pretty big age difference between them, you can definitely see the resemblance.