Oh, for the love.

Borrowing one my mom's favorite phrases for this title...it seems fitting.


It has come to my attention that my Travel blog, day 4 -Durame post has been viewed many, many, many times lately. Only one of the "viewers" has been brave enough to comment.


Here is the controversial blog post: Durame trip


And here is what "Bishir" said in response:

"Ethiopians eat for sustenance, not just for pleasure." - Who doesn't?

"They are also so heavily spiced so that they can cover up 

the taste of the gamey-ness and old-tasting meats" Completely untrue! 

Exactly WHERE in Ethiopia were you? And does this make you an 

expert to make these unfounded conclusions for ALL of Ethiopia? 

As an Ethiopian-American, I'm appalled and these generalizations are unfair. 

It’s one thing to adopt children from a country and another 

thing to be condescending towards that country without any knowledge.

I’m outraged!

I strongly suggest you review this post and include facts instead of prejudice.

Well, allrightythen.

Bishir...

This is a personal family BLOG. I am simply a mom who adopted three children from Ethiopia, spent 2 weeks there and wrote about my personal experiences. I also happen to be married to an awesome chef who is very familiar with many different areas of ethnic food, food preparation, etc, etc, etc and I mentioned in my post that the comments you were unhappy with were based on HIS observation. I just know for ME... I'm not eating a raw egg in the middle of my pizza in Durame OR Chicago.

This isn't Wikipedia's article on Ethiopian cuisine.

If you happen to have dropped by my blog in hopes of learning about authentic Ethiopian food... sorry. I'm not Ethiopian. 

I have 3 Ethiopian children who I do cook Ethiopian food for on occasion. Is it authentic? As authentic as it can be purchasing ingredients at the Merkato here that specializes in Ethiopian food products... purchased injera, and a blend of berbere that isn't quite as spicy as we had there,  but it works. 

Again...much of our experience in Durame was clouded by the emotionally-charged day we had just experienced. Did you even READ that part of the post or did you just read me injecting my "prejudice" upon Ethiopian food?

And... you commented:

"Ethiopians eat for sustenance, not just for pleasure." - Who doesn't?"

Uhm... most of the developed countries in the world eat mostly for pleasure.

Example...google "obesity rates in developed countries" and tell me the rest of the world isn't eating mostly for pleasure!

I can eat a bowl of rice for sustenance, much of the world does.

OR I can eat pan-seared Wild Alaskan salmon with a nice beurre blanc and roasted asparagus... and fill the belly as well as eat for pleasure. 

There IS a difference. 

No one eats that third slice of cheesecake for sustenance.

Besides... an actual Ethiopian-Ethiopian told me while we were there that the pleasure in their meal time comes mostly from the fellowship around the big basket of injera, not from the actual food itself- a lesson that many American families should learn.

Furthermore, my attitude was far from condescending. 

We adore Ethiopia. 

We were "ferengi" on a super-emotional-roller-coaster-trip and we were staying in one of the poorer areas of rural Ethiopia in a sketchy hotel. 

Forgive me if I came across as "condescending". Perhaps read the entire travel journal if you truly desire to see my heart for Ethiopia and my beautiful children. 

And in answer to another comment, I do enjoy Ethiopian food! I really, really liked the injera and tibs, shiro and a beef and pepper thing I forget the name of... but unfortunately- I can't eat American-ET food. It's all made with white/wheat flour and I didn't realize this when I took the littles out to eat and got very, very sick. So...now I try to just make it at home.

I resent the fact that someone who knows nothing about me other than what is found in ONE POST got "outraged" and is judging me based on such little information. 

As an Ethiopian-American adoptive mom, I'm appalled and these generalizations are unfair.  (sound familiar?)

Travel Journal: Day 7 (Wednesday)

Since we were had a different appointment day than everyone else in our group, today was our appointment at the Embassy. It’s nice to have a reason to go out and see more of the city!  We got the kids up, dressed and looking cute, then went down for breakfast and played out in the courtyard until our driver arrived to take us to the Embassy.  We played with rocket balloons and a couple of balls until he arrived. We loaded into the van and we were on our way! The kids seemed really nervous in the van and Baby Boy started sweating to the point that his clothes were getting damp. I felt really sad for him. What was he remembering? What was making him so nervous? I know they had he long ride from the first care center to the transition home in Addis... was he remembering that big change? It's so hard not to know what will trigger memories that cause such sadness.

We arrived at the embassy and it started to rain. Several young men were waiting for the van with umbrellas and asking to escort us. Since we didn’t have any single birr notes with us, we declined.  We declined several times to several people, but they still insisted on “helping” us. Our driver said something in Amharic and they finally left. I felt very nervous being "out" with the kids in public. I had Baby Boy attached to me in the sling and Paul carried the girls quickly into the security check-in area at the Embassy.

We went through a metal detector and walked into a large outdoor waiting area where we sat for 20 seconds before being motioned inside.  Inside the building was chaotic. We handed over our passports and went through another metal detector where our bags were searched and scanned before passing through another door and back outside to walk over to the visa processing area. The rain slowed to a drizzle and we waited under a small overhang outside the main visa building to hear our names called. We met several other adoptive families from other agencies who were there for their appointments as well. Many, many people asked us if our children were triplets, or if the girls were twins!

Finally our names were called and we made our way up the stairs to the small interview area. There were 8 or so people behind plexiglass booths like at a racetrack. We made our way over to one of the men who waved at us.  He was a nice man and asked us several pleasant questions about Tennessee and our lives back home. You could tell it was nice for him to speak with some Americans for a few moments. We raised our right hands and swore that there was no fraud in our adoption and he stamped our paperwork and said our visa packets would be ready the following day! We were done and it was painless! We left the embassy that day knowing we were homeward bound for sure!

On the way back to the hotel we stopped by the Hilton and the Sheraton hotels to try to get our flights changed to something leaving Thursday or Friday. We were unsuccessful.  Once we were back at the hotel we ate and played in the room until bedtime.

After the kids are all in bed Paul and I watch the WORST American movies ever made! They only show horrible movies on the channels we get… ones we have never heard of, with Amharic sub titles. It’s really fun for us to watch them and make fun of the acting, the graphics and the plot. It’s even more fun to see the advertisements for the upcoming movies and know we will be home by the time they are on TV!

Travel Journal: Day 6 (Tuesday)

Since it seems most people are uninterested in reading about my Swirly Twirly thoughts...

back to the Travel Journal!

If you forgot where you were in our journey... here is a link to Day 4: Monday

TUESDAY:
Once we got all three babies up and into our bed for morning hugs and cuddles, we decided they were probably hungry and that we should go to breakfast. 

We got them dressed and went to the potty and walked downstairs to eat. Several of our other travel group friends were there also feeding their children breakfast. They had their embassy appointments today, so they needed to be dressed, fed and ready to go by 8:30. We all talked about our first night together with our new children and joked about the “honeymoon” phase we must be in right now. 

Breakfast was not very exciting for our three. They had some porridge and the juice I gave them in the room. Once we returned upstairs, they polished off a bag of crackers and more juice.  We had a fun morning playing together, painting the girls' fingernails, playing with punch balloons, and running around the hotel room. 

Daddy's phone was the best toy for the baby boy!

Baby Boy has given me a crash refresher course in diapering babies as he has been through 6 already before lunch time! I was not prepared for the diaper thing for sure! He acts much younger than a child about to turn 3 years old, but that’s okay because I really had thought we were planning for a young baby in the beginning anyway! Now I get the best of both worlds!

We ate in the hotel lobby again at lunch and ordered potato soup and spaghetti with meat sauce for the kids. The potato soup looked like clear gravy with diced potatoes inside. The kids didn’t love it. The spaghetti was a huge mess, but a total success! They all loved it and ate almost two adult sized bowls between the three of them!
The problem with eating in the lobby is that they are not set up for children. No high chairs, no booster seats, and the girls can’t reach the table to be able to feed themselves like they did at the care center. Baby Boy is way too small to sit in a chair by himself and eat, so he sits in my lap so I can feed him. This means Paul and I are not eating meals at this point in time. We didn’t eat dinner last night, no breakfast or lunch today.  Thankfully, I have lots of food and snacks in the room, but I think Paul needs a good meal.  He said this morning that he really misses his giant cups of Folgers coffee in the mornings. (edited to say - he actually missed his giant Gas Station cups of coffee. You know it has to be bad if he is sitting in Ethiopia - land of the coffee bean - missing Shell Station coffee.)

The Ethiopian coffee is good, but inconsistent. At one location we have really wonderful coffee with steamed milk, while somewhere else we have gritty, super-strong coffee with no milk available. Don't get me wrong, it is GOOD coffee - just you never quite know what to expect!

After lunch we returned to our room and decided it was potty time, then nap time. Baby Boy went through another two diapers. At this point I am starting to get concerned about our flight home and his poop-situation. Nap time was less difficult than bedtime, but we still had to divide and conquer. Baby Boy and I laid in the girls’ room; Paul had the girls in our bed. We were able to get them to sleep fairly quickly this time and as I type this, they have been sleeping about 90 minutes.  

Their sleeping arrangements are making me a nervous wreck. All three are restless sleepers. Both girls fell off the bed last night and I jolted awake during my mini-nap with Baby Boy when I felt him starting to fall off of the bed. I moved him and made him a cocoon of pillows, but it scared me half to death! 

Later tonight we will just kill more time playing before and after dinner, then try out the bathtub. This should be interesting! 

(Later that day...)Bath time was funny! They really enjoyed being sprayed with the hand-held shower sprayer. We washed everyone well, conditioned all the hair, lotioned them all up and got them all in pajamas for bed!

Travel Journal: Day 5 (Monday)

MONDAY –

We woke up around 5:45 to the sounds of other families leaving their rooms and heading downstairs for breakfast. We got dressed, packed up our things, and went down for coffee. Unfortunately, they informed me there was no milk, so I chose to go without my normal morning coffee. I was served eggs with peppers for breakfast. I guess that’s their interpretation of Scrambled Eggs. They were also white.

After taking 2 bites of eggs and faking an upset stomach and inability to eat due to sleep deprivation, they finally took my eggs away. The rest of our group got their food in shifts. All the scrambled eggs came out first, then 10 minutes later all the porridge, then 10-15 minutes later all the French toast arrived. French toast in Ethiopia is bread dipped in egg and deep fried in oil. It does not look lovely. It is also served with jams and jellies instead of syrup at this hotel.

Soon, we were on our way back out to the van. We were surrounded by many beggars – mostly children and old women. Several in our group handed them some birr, but they kept coming. We got into the vans and the security for the hotel asked them to back up. There was one older man who was arguing with the guard and our driver in Amharic. We asked our driver what was being said and he informed us that the older man was upset because he didn’t get his “share” –meaning no one had given him any birr.

I don’t think you can ever be fully prepared for the poverty you see here. No photo, no video, no words can do it justice. I have seen babies – no more than 3 years old – sitting on the side of the road with no adults to be seen. I have seen young children no more than 5 years old herding goats and cattle down the street –with no adult around. I have seen men, women and children bathing in gutters and filling bottles with water that washes off from the road.

Our trip back was about the same as the trip to Durame. It was sunny part of the drive today, so we were able to see more of the beautiful countryside. I am amazed at how lovely it all is! There were several parts that would make you think you were on a scenic drive in Colorado, except for the occasional circular mud/straw hut, the donkeys and goats in the road, and the people carrying their goods up and down the road. Everyone seems to be going somewhere. They are walking along the road in between cities like they are on a mission. Several will hold out their hand, palm side up and make an upwards motion. This is the Ethiopian hitchhiking sign.

We stopped at the Shinshinco Clinic on the way back to look at the medical services and buildings provided by Holt’s Mother and Child program. The doctor there looks to be 25-30 years old, but very kind and knowledgeable. The buildings remind me of a 1960’s motel with a courtyard in the center. They have several exam rooms, patient teaching areas, in and out-patient services rooms as well as the birthing rooms.  

The Doctor explaining the hospital and telling us about patients who come here.

Let's play ... count the code violations! ;)

There were some men demolishing a building to make way for the new hospital. It was interesting to watch them taking it apart by hand. We would expect to see a bulldozer working to fill up a dump truck. Here they knock walls down by hand, carry the demolished parts away on a stretcher made from two sticks and some corrugated metal.  There was a man standing on a beam that was at the roof line. He was banging on another beam to knock down the section that made part of the roof. Paul said that the beam he was standing on was nailed into the support, not resting upon it. It looked like an accident waiting to happen for sure.

We reloaded the vans and drove another hour or two to the same hotel/restaurant where we had stopped on the trip down. We again had coffee and several ordered Dabo – bread. The bread was described to taste like a hybrid between French, Italian, and San Francisco sourdough. Everyone enjoyed that particular dish as it was a somewhat familiar taste and texture. I think the culture differences are really getting to a lot of people at this point.

The hotel/restaurant where we stopped.

After coffee, we were back in the vans on our trip back to Addis Ababa. This segment of the trip seemed to take forever. More farms, more beautiful countryside, more poverty, more children alone in a field, more people bathing in road wash-off. 

I LOVED these trees!

Eventually, we were back in Addis. It was a VERY busy day on the streets as we made our way back to our hotel. We saw a fight on the street which was very interesting as there are very few police officers around to break up such a thing.

We arrived back at the Union and we were SO happy to be there! Our room felt like the Ritz Carlton after what we had endured in Durame! As we were on our way up to our rooms, Emma and Mike found out their bags had (FINALLY!) arrived to the Addis airport! I am so happy for them! They have been very gracious about it up to this point, but taking custody of their daughter tonight would have been difficult with no supplies other than what was in their carry-on bags. We went up stairs and took showers. Even though our water heater had not been plugged in, and the water wasn’t very warm even after waiting 20 minutes for it to heat up, that was the best shower I have had in a long time! It felt so good to finally get cleaned off from the Durame trip.

Feeling human again, we met some of the travel group down in the lobby to walk down to a grocery store nearby. I was surprised at how little begging we encountered along the way. I assumed we would see people running up to us with their hands out as we did in Durame, but we only saw two older people on the sidewalk begging for change and they did not approach us as we walked by.

The grocery store was really wonderful! They have fresh fruits and vegetables, butter, yogurt, juices, canned meats and fruits, frozen items and every dry good you can imagine. We purchased some mango juice for the babies, some diapers for Joshua, washcloths and the Babelac 3 formula that the care center said our kids drink still. We were told that it is hard to preserve milk, so all of the children drink Babelac instead of regular milk. It was pricey for Ethiopian standards at around $7-8 per can.  They had everything in this store. Upstairs we found kitchen appliances, fans, dishes, pillows and blankets, towels and washcloths, some tea sets, and baby toys and supplies. It was almost like an Ethiopian Walmart!  We checked out and paid around 300 birr for everything we purchased (around $30).  I asked Paul for the change so I could give it to the two beggars on the street.  

On the way back, we wanted to stop at this one man on the side of the road selling scarves. Just as we were walking there, we were introduced to Danny, a boy from Addis Ababa who is 11 years old and in the 9^th grade. He informed us that he has passed his other friends in school because he studies so hard! He has near-perfect English and walked with us to help us negotiate. We were unable to reach a deal with the man on the street, so Danny told us he would take us somewhere else where they have nicer things. He walked us over the foot bridge to a pink building where they sell beads.

The story with the bead store is that the women of Addis who do not want to beg on the street to feed their families, or resort to selling their bodies for money, will come and make necklaces and other hand-crafted items to sell at the store to make money in an honorable way. It was a very small shop, about the size of a large walk-in closet in the USA, but they did have very nice things! We were able to find many items that we wanted to purchase! We bought hand carved wooden animals, some animals that were wrapped in wool yarn, an Ethiopian painting made on goat skin leather, some beaded hair elastics, and a necklace.

As we were walking back, Danny told us about his life. His parents both work. His father works for the local paper and his mother works as well – but I forgot where. Combined they make 750birr a month. Danny said that he has to make his own money to attend school which is around 100birr a month. We asked what he does and he stated that he works as a tour guide to the Americans who come to stay. He said some give him 50 birr, some 100 birr, some more… but all of the money goes to his schooling, books and supplies. He hopes to come to the United States some day and go to Harvard to become a doctor. As we walked closer to his home and our hotel, we discovered that Danny, his parents and 3 other siblings all live in the tiny yellow building across from the Union Hotel. We asked him if he has enough food for his family and he said that he did. Paul made arrangements to meet him again tomorrow to go shopping in the Mercato. Danny is such a kind, sweet and impressive young man and I really pray he is able to fulfill his dream of becoming a doctor.

Back inside, we had around an hour before it was time to walk over to the care center and take custody of our kids! I picked out clothes for them, did some baby-proofing, and had a snack while Paul went to the lobby to use the computer and check in with the kids. 

We have been unable to talk to them so far on the trip since our mobile phone for the group to use requires phone cards and the day I tried to buy one, the lady had no idea what I was asking for – even after showing her one from someone else. It has been good to be able to check in through Facebook and chat online with them for a few minutes, but I really miss hearing their voices and tucking them in at night.

At 5pm, we were ready to go take custody!  I packed the outfits up in a bag, grabbed my baby sling, and out we went! Our group was so excited to get there and we were all so ready to bring them back! The nannies brought the kids downstairs and they ran right to us! Finally – they ran to the correct parents!

We played for a minute and waited for Sister Martha to come out and say goodbye for the night. Lily saw my bag and looked inside and got so excited to see the new clothes! We quickly dressed all three kids and found out everything fit except for Joshua’s shoes were too small, but the care center said we could take their shoes and just bring them back on Thursday. I put Joshua in my sling and we were off!

Walking out the door of the care center with three beautiful children was amazing! We were all smiling from ear to ear and ran through the drizzling rain back over to the hotel.  We arrived to many smiles and greetings from the Union staff. They were all very happy to see the kids! We decided to go ahead and eat dinner so that we could go up to the room and relax for the night. We looked at the menu, but told the server that the kids normally eat Injera and something called “wet” and asked if we could have that. She obliged and 10 minutes later, we were feeding our kids their first dinner outside of the care center in almost a year.

The rainy season decided to arrive with a big crash of thunder right during dinner! It was an amazingly strong thunderstorm! It may not have felt so huge if we were in our home in Tennessee watching out of our windows, but here for some reason it just felt frightening. Maybe it was the thought of our new friend Danny across the street living in a metal house, or maybe it was the picture in my head of all of those people – women and children- living on the streets in a thunderstorm. You want to do something, but there is really nothing we can do.

At dinner, we had some issues figuring out the sippy cups I had brought, so I had to take the straw part out of the center which made them more like a normal cup with a soft straw. We gave the kids papaya juice at dinner, some mango juice and water in the room and then their Babelac 3 at bedtime. It became apparent as we entered the evening hours that Joshua takes a bottle at bedtime still. This was not mentioned to us at the care center, but he really seemed restless and fussy until we decided we would try the milk. All three kids self-soothe with some kind of sucking. Evie sucks on her cheeks and lips, Lily sucks her thumb at bedtime and Joshua would not put the sippy cup down all evening since he was sucking and chewing on the straw.

We gave the girls their American Girl Bitty Twins first… Lily loved hers; Evie didn’t want anything to do with hers!  We gave Joshua his Woody doll… he HATED it! Okay… 1 for 3… so we went with the blankies! Blankies were a huge hit! Success! We played in the room, lotioned up the hair and bodies, put on pajamas and watched a little of Finding Nemo and all of Abe and the Amazing Promise. They were acting sleepy so we decided it was time to try out bedtime.

First we put three wiggly little kids into one queen size bed. 

That didn’t work.  

We tried staying in there with them and singing, 

rubbing backs and generally just trying to keep the peace until they fell asleep. 

That didn’t work either. 

We decided to try the Divide-And-Conquer approach. 

I picked up Baby Boy and took him into the main room where our bed is and laid him down to go to sleep. I lay down next to him and tried to get him to go to sleep. He was having such a problem with his head being itchy. The pediatrician had said he has some kind of infection and they were using an antihistamine cream, but they didn’t give it to us. I was wishing I had it at this point.  He finally fell asleep! Paul was also able to keep the girls still long enough to give up and go to sleep. 

We had cleared our first big hurdle!

Later in the night, around 2am, I heard whimpering. I went into the girls’ room to find a soaking wet Lily lying on the floor uncovered. It made me so sad that she hadn’t thought to leave her room and walk the 10 feet to our bed to get help in the night. I quickly changed her pull-up, putting her into a smaller size, put her back into bed and covered her up and she went right back to sleep. I put Joshua on a bed on the floor next to me and tried to get more comfortable in my bed. I was afraid to take something to help me sleep thinking I wouldn’t hear a whimper in the middle of the night if I was in such a deep sleep. Around 4am I was able to get back to sleep. The babies were all awake around 7am. None of them got out of the bed until I came and got them (finding Evie on the floor and also wet). That also made me sad. (It’s one of the signs that a child has been in an institution – they learn that even if they cry in the night, even if they want to get up for someone to comfort them, they will not have anyone there. Eventually they stop looking for help and learn that survival method of just being alone. This makes me incredibly sad.) 

Travel Journal: Day 4 - Durame

Sunday –

5am came REALLY early. We got up, got dressed, got packed, made sure we had the right paperwork, then went down stairs for breakfast and coffee before our driver arrived to take us to Durame. Coffee was great, the eggs were a little strange as always. The driver was on time and we got ready to leave.  We managed to pack all 10 of us, our bags of clothing and supplies, plus 3 staff into a 14 passenger van.  It was not the most comfortable arrangement, but it worked.

The drive to Durame was gorgeous! 

So much lush greenery, mountain scenes, cool trees, rushing rivers of rain water, fog and farm land… it was beautiful. We stopped about 2 hours into our trip at a hotel/restaurant and had coffee. After piling back into the van, we drove another 2-3 hours to Durame. 

We arrived at our hotel and got our key. The hotel was indeed "rustic". The mattresses are as hard as were described – like someone forgot the mattress over the box spring. Things are broken, wires hanging down, no shower walls or curtain, moldy/mildewed ceiling tiles in the bathroom, muddy floors, peeling wall paper… and a menu that is hand written on one piece of paper and you put a tic-mark next to what you want. It is very primitive... but it is the best they can offer in the town of Durame. 

After quickly changing clothes, we went back downstairs for lunch. Lunch was rice with a spicy tomato sauce on top. It looked more like chili paste and it was very spicy. We were all preoccupied with our pending birth parent meetings, so there was a lot of small talk. Lunch was quickly over so we headed to the Holt Care Center in Durame (just down the road) for our important meeting.

We were brought into a room and introduced to the men who would be doing the translating for our meetings and given our schedule. Our family was to go last. We waited in a room with plastic yard-style chairs and were served more coffee and our first popcorn of the trip. The coffee was quite chunky, so Paul drank his and most of mine so that I would not appear rude. Thanks again, honey!

While waiting for our turn, my nerves finally got the best of me and I had to run to the potty. I asked the staff where a toilet was located. One of the non-English speaking staff showed me to the “toilet”. It was outside and around the corner in a room with a corrugated metal, non-closing door and was actually more like a toilet seat cemented into the floor over a large hole in the ground.  It was really smelly, lots of bugs, and about the most rustic toilet I have ever seen or used. It was quite an experience!

(And no... unfortunately I did not have my camera. boo...)

We had our birth relative meeting and I am saving those details for our children for when they are older. The meeting was one of the most emotional, powerful, God-sanctioned times of my entire life. We were able to experience an amazing moment with our birth relative and God that still gives me goose bumps when I think about it. I truly feel as though God ordained this entire adoption, but to see His hand so clearly in this moment took my breath away.

If you are an adoptive family who is weighing the decision to make the trip or not... do it, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel. You will never have the opportunity again and you would miss the biggest blessing you can imagine by not going!

I was shell-shocked from the intensity of the meeting and knew that I had just been a part of a divine appointment.

After the birth parent meeting we walked next door to visit the Durame intake center. The transition from the meeting to the care center was so abrupt and so sudden that my mind and heart couldn't take it. We walked through the gate into the care center and Paul turned to look at me and asked if I was okay... and I fell apart. I fell into his arms by a coffee tree and sobbed (that ugly, can't-catch-your-breath sob).

Yes, this is the coffee tree. Those berries turn red when they are ripe.

I was a little glazed-over once I got myself together, but I was still glad to see the center where so many of Holt’s children spend time before coming to Addis Ababa. It was very sweet to see all of the young children there.  

We met these two boys who were around 5 years old each. They were SO sweet and SO funny! They would repeat ANYTHING you said to them! It was hilarious! Paul had them saying Hello, Aloha, Howdy, Hi, What’s up, and several other phrases! Our whole group was laughing at how cute they were! Unfortunately, we found out they are still waiting and are not brothers, so they will be placed separately by Holt. It would be wonderful if they could stay together or at least be adopted by people in the same community. 

(edited to say - These boys both have families! I have spoken with one of the moms who lives only 15 minutes from me! They will not live near by one another, but we are praying that they are in the same travel group when they come home from Ethiopia! Isn't that awesome?)

The courtyard at the care center. 

We left the Durame care center and drove back over to the hotel where we dropped our things off in our rooms, then several of us sat and decompressed in a small sitting area upstairs near our bedrooms.

The hotel was really something. I don’t think I normally complain about accommodations, but this was really not nice. It felt unsafe, and unsanitary. I was very happy to know we were only there for a few hours! This hotel was the very best one in Durame. It was the best they could do given their supplies and abilities, and I felt guilty and like a spoiled American even thinking these things.

Bucket filled with water so you can flush, plug hanging down is 

for the water heater should you desire to shower.

Bathroom in the lobby.

We went down to dinner where I had the injera special with several types of meat and vegetables. I am so thankful that the Lord allowed us to find our children in a country filled with gluten-free food! Paul had ordered the “special pizza” which came with a raw egg cracked right in the center and barely cooked. It was special alright. 

Not the pizza, but check out that boiled egg in the center. See the yolk? Keep reading.

Side note about Ethiopian food: It has been our observation (well, Chef Paul's observation that he shared with me) that Ethiopians eat for sustenance, not just for pleasure. The pleasure in eating for them comes in the friends they share the meal with as eating together is an expression of friendship. There has been nothing that we have seen so far that has looked like someone decided to make food that would be pleasing for the eye or seasoned to taste really wonderful. The meats are from the oldest animals, so they are tough and chewy. They are also so heavily spiced so that they can cover up the taste of the gamey-ness and old-tasting meats. The egg yolks are white. I am not sure if it is because the chickens do not eat anything that would sustain their bodies well enough to produce yellow yolks, but they are certainly not the health-benefit eggs I love at home. The saddest part of this is that the people here really NEED high quality proteins and sustaining foods, not the older cuts of meat and produce.

After our dinner, we went up to the room where we quickly got under the covers, I took a sleeping pill, and we went to bed. 6am could not come soon enough! Tomorrow morning we head back "home" to Addis and we take custody of our babies!

Travel Journal: Day 3

Saturday:

Having been awakened around 3am by howling wind coming through the crack in our sliding glass door, I couldn’t get back to sleep. I laid there thinking about our new three babies, how they will love meeting the 4 at home, and imagining our life as a new family of 9! Paul was awake too, but wanted to take a sleeping pill and go back to bed. He took the real kind, I took the herbal ones. One of us has been awake since then – typing 4 pages of memories from the past 24 hours! Oh well, he is getting some much needed rest and I am dressed and ready to go have some cups of buna in the lobby!

Today we go on a museum trip. I must admit, I would rather not if it meant we could spend the day with the kids instead… but I suppose we should learn whatever we can about Ethiopia while we are here!

 We saw lots of interesting things on the way to the museum: clothing stores, beggars, food vendors, incredibly frightening driving, the Addis Ababa University graduation in process, as well as the other typical sights – goats, bulls, cows, dogs and chickens in the roads.

The museum was very interesting – many cool artifacts and historical clothing from Ethiopian government history. We took lots of video, so my words will not do it justice. We found it very interesting to see the cultural items such as carvings, wooden furniture, clothing and jewelry that is typical to this area.

After the visit to the museum, we walked across the courtyard to the Lucy Restaurant. The restaurant is named after the famous Lucy artifact which was found in Ethiopia. The evolutionists say it is the earliest human form. The restaurant was interesting, animal hides on the walls in the shape of tiles, interesting menu options and the traditional Ethiopian-time service schedule.

After lunch we headed back to our hotel after first dropping the families off at care center 3 to visit with their children. We went over to see our kids and got to play with them for a couple of hours before their dinner time!  We enjoyed playing with the bubbles again as well as some hot wheels cars. When I first handed them the cars, baby boy threw his, Z** dropped it and reached for bubbles instead, and B** smiled and said “Machina!” (ma-kina).  The nannies brought juice for a snack – avocado and papaya blended together. The kids all guzzled their juice down in seconds flat! They love that avocado blend!

Too soon it was time for us to go. It was sad knowing we would not see them for over 24 hours at that point, but we knew that this was our last time leaving them overnight. I took all three up to their bedrooms where they were getting cleaned up for dinner and bed.  I left them their photo album books to keep overnight since it was their favorite thing we had brought so far.  After many kisses and fighting back tears, I descended the stairs, grabbed my things and went out the front doors.

Emma and I walked next door to the hotel talking about how hard it was to say goodbye today. We had some time before the cultural dinner, but only a short time frame before we were supposed to be downstairs waiting.  We changed clothes for dinner, got cleaned up a bit, and then went to wait in the lobby. While we talked to our travel group friends, we began recalling the events of the past couple of days. It is amazing how much we have packed into such a short amount of time!

After waiting for 45 minutes after the time we were told to be ready, it was finally time to go to dinner. Several from our group had decided not to go to the dinner, so those who were left piled into the van. We drove to the restaurant and walked into the smoke-filled restaurant around 8pm.  The smoke was due to the pine needles/incense that they burn as part of the coffee ceremony. There was a band playing traditional instruments on the stage and these cool chair groupings around these Ethiopian drum tables. The server pointed us to where to go and then removed a cover from the table to reveal a drum-like surface. We ordered our food and watched the show. 

The food was served family style and most of us enjoyed the injera with a yellow-curry-lentil blended substance the most. After some disagreement with the server over whether or not Paul could have the raw goat, he was served cooked goat which he did not eat. The manager got upset and the server and manager proceeded to tell him that the raw goat was not on the menu. It was, in fact, on the menu because he pointed to it to order. Anyway, we ate, watched the show, and then went back to the hotel exhausted. 

We changed into pajamas and packed our bag for the next days’ trip to Durame at 6am. 

There was an over-arching sense of nauseating anticipation in the air, knowing we would soon meet our children's birth family. 

Travel Group (and annoyed Ethiopian man in foreground)

Hand-washing before the meal - Emma and Michael on the right

More hand-washing...

Yellow stuff we enjoyed is in the 4:00 position - looks like creamed corn, but was SO yummy!

Dancers doing their thing! 

Check presenter baskets... pretty cool!

I think we paid around $12 for dinner.

Cool tree from at the museum - looked like a giant poinsettia!

Friendly reminder from the museum folks...

(Baby monkey named) Selam - they say is the earliest human child.

This was on the cover of National Geographic at one point.

Uh huh.

See! I'm not making this stuff up!

"Lucy" was on display in the USA while we were in Ethiopia... so we missed that gem.

Photo of a lady making injera. We didn't get to see anyone actually MAKING the injera while we were there, so this was a little clue as to how they pour it and get it all thin and even since they can't tip the pan around.

Travel Journal: Day 2 - the day we met our babies!

FRIDAY-

This was the day we had been waiting for! 

The day we meet our children for the first time!

We woke up at 7am to a very chilly room! July in Ethiopia is more like October in Tennessee. 

I walked out on the balcony to take a look around and see Addis Ababa in the daylight. I saw nannies at work over at the care center, a small child waving at me from a make shift building across the street, and a gorgeous view of the mountains in the fog.

The strangest thing about Ethiopia so far is the diversity. We are staying at a hotel with solid marble front steps, marble floors, and probably the nicest accommodations anyone in this area has ever seen… but in the back of the hotel are shacks you would think were abandoned. There are packs of dogs roaming the streets, cats crying, chickens and roosters crowing, huge potholes that resemble small lakes and people pushing wheelbarrows full of potatoes for sale.

We debated what to wear, (“does this outfit say ‘Hello, I am your mommy and I am so incredibly happy to be here to meet you today!’”), then Paul went downstairs to ask for an iron. He was told they would bring one up. He went to shave and shower and while he was in the bathroom, I heard faint knocking. I figured someone was knocking down the hall it was so barely audible. After the 3^rd time I heard it, I went to the door to see if someone needed something… and it was the guy bringing us the iron! He was knocking on OUR door! Oops! 

He came in and removed the TV and other items from the desk, then laid a bright red towel out on the desk to make an ironing board. I thanked him and gave him a tip – 10birr, about .70, but figured it was about right based on other prices and tips I had heard of. 

He then proceeded to actually iron Paul’s shirt and pants! 

I didn’t realize he was going to do that! Not sure if I had then invited myself to pay another tip… I knocked on the door and told Paul he was here and ironing. Eventually, he was finished, and yes – he got another tip and was on his way to go fix someone’s shower! I guess this guy was the hotel’s Jack of All Trades.

After we were dressed, we went downstairs for breakfast and met several of the other families in our travel group. First was Kimberly – who I had emailed several times over the course of our adoption. Next, Heather, Chonda, Wendy and their husbands joined us.  Emma and Michael  were on their way still after being delayed due to weather.

We had breakfast – some strange looking and tasting eggs – and many, many cups of coffee!

One of the Holt staff arrived and gave me our itinerary. It was a little confusing since they thought we were not arriving until today at noon, not last night at midnight. I think military time notation would be a good idea for in the future.  At least this explains why we had no driver!

After some discussion about our schedule, Paul and I decided to jump in on the rest of the travel groups schedule and go to the Holt office right then. I am glad that we did because we got to meet the staff, see our babies’ big binder that contained our dossier and the intake photos I have never seen, and learn more about our trip and hear the Holt staff’s heart for our kids. They really do love them all so much. They are so proud of what they are doing and you can tell it is their life’s calling.

As soon as our meeting was over, the driver loaded up the two families who had children at the second care center. I believe they called it Care Center 3. Our children are at Care Center 2… which we thought was Care Center 1. I don’t know if there is a center 1… but I know which they are talking about now at least.

We waited what seemed like an hour for the driver to come back to take us to OUR care center to meet our children!

When we arrived, we honked and were let inside. The Holt staff photographer/videographer got ready and Sister Martha came to speak with us. She was SO kind and sweet and sincerely loves these children SO much. She explained that they would bring the kids down the stairs one at a time and we would know them. Well, I was sure I would be the only one seeing three at once, so I was not nervous, but I can see how it could cause some stress! Sometimes families travel having only seen one photo from many months prior! They change SO much SO fast!

We were the last ones to be introduced to our children. I loved seeing the other families meeting their kids for the first time! Finally, I stood up so I could get a better look, and I saw a nanny leading the children down the stairs! They were walking and holding hands. As soon as they got to the bottom of the stairs, Z** took off running for me! She ran right into my arms, baby boy tackled Paul with a big hug, and B** came to me! I kneeled there crying and smiling this huge goofy smile while holding my girls! Paul was videotaping as best as possible given the circumstances, but I am so happy the Holt staff has someone who does that too!

We went and sat together on the couch and just absorbed as much of them as we could! We had quite awhile to play together and we got to see smiles and personalities coming out very quickly! B** (oldest girl) is so incredibly beautiful and very smart! She takes wonderful care of the younger two. You can see how she has loved and cared for them for nearly a year now. She acts very much like an oldest child. She has a smile and a voice of an angel! Z** (middle girl) also is gorgeous! She has these high cheek bones and an adorable freckle on her right cheek! She smiles and laughs and just seems to enjoy being with people. She stayed with us for the most part and kept returning when she would wander away. D** (baby boy) is such a sweet baby! I know they say he is almost 3, but he seems so much younger than that! He seems barely 2 to me. He is a snuggle bug and has a great smile! He is still in diapers and just seems like such a wonderful baby boy! He threw the ball with us, was scared of playing chasing games, and just loved to be held!

After our meeting, we went upstairs to feed them lunch! I got to help feed all three kiddos! 

They brought out this bowl and pitcher of water to wash their hands, then gave each child a huge plate of injera and “wat” and something that looked like potatoes with chopped up ham. They ate ALL of it! Each one of them! Baby boy tried to feed me his first bite! How sweet!  I took it and fed it to him instead. He smiled at me! I fed some to B** (oldest girl) but she was doing better on her own. She's a very efficient eater!

While we were eating, Emma and Michael arrived directly from the airport and 30 hours of flights to meet their daughter! Our travel group was now completely here and accounted for!

After lunch, they went to the potty and we went back downstairs to play! This is when the true personalities came out! We had some Magnadoodles in the bag and they were a huge hit! They carried them around and learned to erase the screens. Many more smiles, many more giggles, much more hugs and kisses! The nannies eventually came to tell us it was time for their naps. We took them upstairs and I helped tuck them all into bed. It was so sad to leave them, but also so incredibly amazing to have met them and to have fallen totally, head-over-heels in love with them so instantly!

We walked back to the hotel in a daze. 

We had just met our children! 

They are wonderful! 

They are so sweet, and smart and amazingly beautiful! 

We were just FULL! 

Everyone was having lunch, but Paul and I weren’t really hungry. We went up to the room where I had some of the food we brought for me and we downloaded the videos and photos from our first meeting to the computer. Sister Martha had asked B** if she would sing and she sang this adorable song for us! 

We watched that video several times!

Soon it was time to get back in the van and go to the Holt office again. On the drive there we saw many shocking things. We saw a man with contorted limbs dragging his body, clothed in rags, across the sidewalk. Children were selling food on the streets, men urinating just wherever the urge hit them, bulls and cows in the street, herds of goats with pink markings on them, chickens scratching in the runoff area next to a fence.

At the Holt office, we filled out our 1600 forms (times 3) and the I184 forms (times 3) with the help of the Holt staff. We were hoping this would go by quickly so we could get back to the care center and see our babies again soon! Once we were finished, we waited on the paperwork to be verified then loaded back in the vans again.  First we drove to Care Center 3 to drop off those two families to visit their children.  That was an amazing place! SO many children there! Many older, most all were over 3 or 4 years old… but they were so beautiful and had such sweet faces!  We dropped those families off and went back to our center to see our babies! First the girls were brought downstairs. They had on different clothes this time and I thought Z** was D** from up the balcony! Oops! Z** sat in my lap, B** in Paul’s lap and we looked at the photo albums we brought. The girls loved looking at the photos! I tried in my best Southern/ Amharic to explain who and what items were in the photos. Soon, baby boy was brought downstairs and we looked at his book together! They all three carried their books around and showed each nanny who came through the room! They were so happy to show off their gifts!

We had also brought party favor bubbles this visit! They were a huge hit! The girls loved them, but baby boy was scared at first. He liked to blow them, but didn’t want to touch them. He would pop them with his photo album, but that was a close as he would get! B** said her first taught-by-us English word – Bubbles! She also repeated after me the names of all her siblings as we pointed to her siblings in the book! We laughed at Daddy’s picture with the Woo-shah (dog), Ricotta!

It was clear that the kids were getting tired. It was an overwhelming day for all of us! So many emotions and new experiences at once! Around 6:30, the nannies came to get them cleaned up, fed dinner and off to bed. We reluctantly said our goodbyes and headed back to the hotel for dinner. It’s not like me to not have many words, but I was just trying to process and soak up everything I had seen and felt!

We ate in the hotel lobby and I had Injera and Tibs for the first time! It was really good! I was surprised that I liked it as much as I did! We sat with the other families and enjoyed recounting stories from our day! 

Paul and I went to bed around 9:00, worn out from all of the excitement!

(trying to find photos of this day that I can share... if I find them I will add them here!)