Christianese

I apologize in advance for offending you.

It will probably happen if you keep reading.

You have been warned.

Just in case you are wondering, 

we have no news on our court date yet.

For some reason, emails are not arriving from Ethiopia to Holt.

No, I don't know why it is that Holt can't get court 

outcomes when other agencies are able to hear.

So, back to the title.

Christianese.

What is this you ask?

Simple.

It's the "churchy" language people speak when they

try to encourage someone else or explain away their troubles.

For example.

We have been waiting, matched to our kids, since late January.

Our dossier arrived in Ethiopia in March.

People are in Ethiopia TODAY taking custody of their kids

who they were matched with in late March.

And what do I hear when I complain about this?

"It's all in God's timing."

Yes indeedy.

So if I have a piece of paper sitting on my desk for a 

month and neglect to sign it, that's God's timing when 

I finally remember it sitting there and mail it in.

Not just that I am an idiot and should have put a 

brighter colored sticky note on the front.

or...

"God can take care of your babies 

better than you can right now anyway."

Uh huh. 

Thanks.

I feel much better now.

So, a homeless, starving child who lives in a dump 

scavenging food from the trash is better off there because 

the Lord can take better care of him than a parent could right now.

I think not.

This falls into the same category as things I heard when I miscarried.

"You wouldn't have wanted that baby... it was probably deformed or something."

or...

"These things all happen for a reason."

or...

"Jesus wanted to keep that baby with him instead."

Well...

I say, what kind of God would give you a 

child for a few weeks, 

instilling hope and joy,

only to rip it away.

Not MY God.

I don't know about YOURS...

but MY God says we live in a fallen world,

full of consequences of sin.

I don't think He makes mistakes.

I don't think he messes up a baby then says

"oops...recall on that one!"

All children are a gift from the Lord.

 

Which brings me back to adoption Christianese.

"Patiently waiting on the Lord".

Yes... but is it REALLY God holding up my paperwork?

Or is it MAYBE, just MAYBE another 

consequence of living in a fallen, imperfect world?

"God is just teaching you a lesson about something."

Seriously?

I am all for learning lessons, but when

you are in the middle of something super hard..

is it really the most wise time to bestow such 

wisdom on someone who is hurting?

Instead of loving the lesson we wind up disliking the teacher.

Which one of us would love a parent who teaches us about 

the stove being hot by placing our hand 

directly on the burner while it is glowing red?

I believe God ALLOWS things to 

happen so that we can learn and grow.

I don't think He sits up there just waiting to 

smash us to smithereens so we can learn 

something valuable.

So, please.

The next time you wish to bless someone with your 

vast expanse of Biblical knowledge...

remember this:

Sometimes the best thing you can say is just

"I am so sorry."

"I wish I had something to say that would help."

"What can I do to help you?"

"How can I pray for you right this minute?"

"I hate that this has happened/is happening to you."

or 

just give them a hug.

And don't walk away after 2 seconds.

Let them cry if they need it.

And just be there.