I've been in a funk.
You don't want to read what I've been writing and not publishing.
You don't want to call me and ask how I'm doing.
I cry at commercials.
I cry over movies and photos and Bible verses.
And I got new photos this week (to cry over)!
|I mean, COME ON. Look at these faces?!? Are they not just beautiful!?|
This one was fine - not too many tears - smiling faces and bright sparkly eyes!
Then I saw this one.
Clothes way too big, or way too small.
Crocs - I hate them. They are one-size-fits-most orphanage shoes.
Different day, different photo...
girls wearing the same wrong-size shorts,
our oldest in the same pants.
And stupid crocs.
I'm so tired of this process.
I know it seems "fast" to those on the outside,
and by some accounts - sure, it's been "fast".
But I met these kids.
I hugged them, kissed them, showered them and oiled their gorgeous skin.
I fed them, they fed me.
I gave them stupid gifts that were more for me than for them.
Blankets with their names embroidered on them...
because I saw where they sleep and I thought they were cold at night.
Backpacks with their names embroidered on them...
because I wanted them to keep their photo albums
inside so they can see them whenever they want.
Lined paper, pens, pencils, crayons, coloring books,
and each one of them got a little stuffed bear
that holds a photo that I took and printed while there of me with them.
I know most of their stuff was confiscated.
I know they may not have it when we return.
I know I miss them more than they miss me.
I'm glad that's the case.
I'm the mom - I'm the adult.
I can take it.
I know we will return for them.
It would rip my heart into tiny little shreds to know that
they are waiting for me in the same way.
Oh, Lord - make it soon.
And not "soon" in the Ethio-way...
I want 12 baskets on my dining room table on Easter morning.
"woah - we've never seen a process move this fast before!"
And soon like our oldest who waits said...