Know what I hear a lot?
"Oh... that family is so precious...all their kids are color-blind."
before you think I'm talking about some sweet family
with kids wearing non-matching clothing
because they can't see what color their shirt is...
No. I'm talking about the term
"color-blind" being applied to trans-racial adoptive families.
And here's why I shiver when I hear it.
Do I look like a frick-a-frackin MORON?
Of course I'm not color-blind!
8 of our children are BROWN!
My dog is white.
My neighbor has 3 dogs -
one is black,
one is black and white,
and one is... I forget.
They are all little and run fast.
My dog is a Great Pyrenees.
Hers are Pugs.
(Just kidding Erin...! ha ha!)
And do you know what this means???
It means I have deductive reasoning skills.
I can look at a person in the store and immediately (most of the time) deduce:
Man or woman
Adult, Teen or Child
Good mood/Bad mood
I have functioning eyeballs
and a (mostly) functioning brain.
Now, before you get all sentimental on me and say
your sweet little cream-to-peach colored children
don't seem to notice that their siblings are espresso to chocolate colored!"
OF COURSE they notice.
Everyone in this house is fully aware of their skin color.
What you MEAN to say/think is...
They don't give a frick-a-fracking flip
if their sister or brother is green with purple polka dots
or brown like my German chocolate bars (that are now all gone.. waaahhh!!).
Because they love them.
No matter their skin/eye/hair color.
As it well should be.
(here's where I stomp ALL OVER some adoptive parents' toes)
we SHOULD be aware at the differences and how that affects
the way others will perceive us in our culture.
There are stupid people out there.
Stupid people who will look at one of my sweet sons
and assume he's in a gang.
Or that he's in a store to shop-lift.
Or that he has drugs in his car.
And you know why?
Because this world is NOT COLOR-BLIND.
And it's filled with presuppositions about races.
And sticking our heads in the sand, or
covering our ears with our hands and screaming
"LALALALALAAAA!! I can't hear you!"
is NOT going to prepare our children for racism in this world.
It's not going to prepare you for that moment when someone deems you
unworthy of being your child's mother
because you don't match colors.
And it's certainly not going to prepare your child
for being followed in a store.
I don't want my children to be color-blind.
I want them to see ALL of the beautiful colors
that the Lord created.
I want them to recognize differences
that make us who we are,
not just the ones you can see from the outside.
I want them to profile their friends.
Not by what color they are,
but by what they say/do/wear and who they hang out with.
When my sweet 5 year old daughter says
"look Mom... I'm turning PEACH, like YOU!"
because she has a mosquito bite scar that's healing..
I say "Oh I hope not... I LOVE your beautiful brown skin!"
When my 6 year old daughter wants hair like mine
I make sure I tell her how gorgeous her curls are
and how I used to go pay a lot of money
to get curly hair like hers!
don't be color-blind.
Don't accuse us of being color-blind.
We are color-aware...
but not color-blind.
As well it should be.