Thursday, June 16, 2011

You say potato...

Growing up in the south, there are a LOT of phrases and words people say that you just don't hear elsewhere.

Well, bless his little ol' pea pickin' heart!!
(That's my Granny's phrase...)

So buck toothed he could eat corn-on-the-cob through a key hole.

Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full o' rocking chairs.

As scarce as hen's teeth.

Plumb tuckered out.

Run round back real quick and turn on the hose pipe.

I think you get it...!

There's things you say just out of habit too.
Someone sneezes... "Bless you!"
How are you? "Fine... how are you?"

But I have to tell you...
because I know that you may be reading this blog as a non-adoptive parent...
I had someone actually SCARE my child the other day
and she meant NOTHING by it (other than maybe a compliment).

We were at the pool and this lady said how beautiful my children are. (why thank you, I think so too!)
She then turns to my baby boy who was a little closer to her than to me and touches his head and says:

"You are so cute! You wanna come home with me? I bet you'd love to come to my house!"

I've heard it countless times...
from friends...
from strangers...
with my first four kids...
It's just something people say.
Maybe it's just in the south...
but I've heard it forever.

But this day...
he looked up at her and said "No..."
and then turned to me and the look on his face spoke volumes.

"Would she take me?"
"Would you LET her?"
"Am I really staying with you forever?"
"Can someone show up with a better offer?"

Oh, my baby boy.
Ripped my heart out.
I grabbed his hand and pulled him into my lap and gave him a big hug and kiss... and told him he would ONLY EVER stay with mommy. 

And then I said I silent prayer of thanks that he had said "No" instead of "yes" at her offer. 
Plenty of adopted kids would have said yes.
They think it's actually an option.

So, please...
I know we live in a WAY over-politically corrected society.
This isn't politically correctness gone awry.
This is... 
just another one of those things that makes our situation different.

You just can't always say or do things with children with traumatic pasts the way you always would with any other child. It just doesn't work the same way.

I know you don't want to upset any child by saying something like that...
which is why I am telling you this.

My children -all 7 of them- are MY children and there is no offer on the table for them to go live anywhere else. 
And at least 3 of them don't know you are kidding. 

So, just tell them how gorgeous they are and what a lucky mommy I am. 
Because that's the honest to goodness truth.


  1. Not just a Southern thing. Almost daily, someone says something about taking Alice home with them.

  2. I have 3 biological kids and people have said this to them countless times. Especially when they were really little....too little to understand. Even though people are just trying to be nice, I have always thought this comment was a little creepy. It's so much worse in your situation. Love your blog. (:

  3. Thank you for bringing this to our attention. I'm sure I have said this countless times to a little sweetie. I'll be more careful in the future.

  4. I love this!!!! I'll have to add it to my Top 10 Don't Ask list for sure!

  5. i do hear this phrase all the time when i have Gabe up at the school with me. I live in SC...and people always says (students and adults) "Arent you wanna come home with me?" Ha what a Southern phrase that could mean something so different to an adopted child


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