About Sibling Adoption

Adoption isn't for everyone in every season.

Not everyone should adopt and of those who should or can...

not everyone should adopt siblings.

But if you are thinking about it...

and wondering about logistics of adopting siblings...

here's my perspective on the whole thing!

Obviously I am partial to siblings.

Our babies were on the waiting child list 

with our agency and when we were

finally approved to adopt them

we felt like we had won the lottery!

We couldn't believe that we could be so

fortunate as to be blessed THREE times over!

As we kept going in our process...

I struggled to find an "adoption twin".

You know...

someone like you...

adopting a child or children of the same ages,

in the same part of the process as you,

and with the same number of kids at home already.

 Clearly that's a tall order... 

but its always nice to have someone who just "gets it"

to go through the process with. 

I was unable to find someone adopting three at once, who were all pre-school ages... much less with four at home already. This sometimes gave me anxiety... like, do they all know something we don't know??!

When we got to the point when we traveled to Ethiopia and we met our babies for the first time... I can't even tell you how thankful I was that we had been chosen for our kiddos! We knew they were perfect for our family from day one, and we never thought differently!

Where you find the fork in the road is in the transition.

Our first night together when we took custody, our kids were nervous - but they had each other.

That first trip in a car together - they had each other.

When we didn't speak their language and didn't know what they wanted - they had each other.

In the middle of the night, boarding an airplane with relative strangers - they had each other.

When we got home and everything in their whole world was suddenly different - they had each other.

Strange people, strange smells, strange sounds, big dog... but they had each other!

We have been home over 5 months now and they still sing songs in Wolaytinga 

because they sing them TOGETHER. 

And from our perspective...

our kiddos couldn't be any more perfect.

The big 4 love the little 3...

they play together,

they act just like normal siblings,

they fight over toys,

little brother eats big brothers Nerf darts,

and they all blame the younger one for

EVERYTHING.

It's normal.

It's a family.

And it's OUR family.

It doesn't feel weird...

or strange..

or like anything...

but our family!

So if you are wondering if you can adopt siblings...

yes you can.

And it's wonderful

and amazing

and there are SO many wonderful siblings out there

BIG sibling groups and sibling pairs too..

who don't know if they will ever be chosen

because they come with each other.

But that, in itself, is the blessing of adopting siblings!!

Things that are hard.

Do you remember that show?
$27,000 Pyramid?
Or was it $270,000...
I forget.
I think it had a 2 and a 7 in the title...
but it was a pyramid.
*Edited** Okay... so I did some research and found out it was FIRST the $10000 Pyramid, THEN the $25000 Pyramid... but most times just called Pyramid. See honey? I am just BAD with numbers in ALL things... not just how much I spent at the grocery store!  http://www.curtalliaume.com/pyramid.html for more info.

Anyway...

On that show there were two pairs of people, one person from each pair was usually some B-list celebrity. The one giving the clues would say stuff like:
"I like to lick myself instead of taking a bath..."
and the person with their back to the pyramid of clues would say...
(to a chorus of laughs from the audience... )
"Gene Simmons!"
to which the person giving the clues would then say...
"Ummmm.... I make strange sounds at night when I am in heat."
(more laughter...)
"I have nine lives..."
then the clue-getter would say "Things a cat might say!"
*DING!*
Then the next block would turn over revealing a new clue.

Now that you know how I spent several hours of my youth...

Sometimes I think I don't give an actual portrayal of what life is really like with 7 children in the home.
Seven children, all VERY different, three dealing with adoption trauma, 4 dealing with my-family-just-adopted-three-kids trauma, and a husband who has been out of town for 8 of the days so far in the month of November.

Sometimes I think you click on whatever button brings you to this corner of the internet and somehow, magically, rose-tinted glass appears over your monitor and you see my life as I may have portrayed it in snippets, blurbs and anecdotes.

So, today, my dear readers... I give you...


"Things that are hard."
(This is my alternate title... it was going to be:
YOU-CAN'T-HANDLE-THE-TRUTH-Wednesday! but, that just didn't flow.)

You may be thinking to yourself,
"Self...Chrissy has older kids at home. 
That MUST make her life with 7 easier than my life with 3 toddlers."
(ahem, not calling any names, cough, cough... but her name starts with a J and ends in AMEY. )

Let me just give you a normal scenario that takes place on any given day ending in Y.

Hubby has been out of town for 4 days, the kids have barely spoken to him save the 20 seconds on the phone when it gets passed around, and its 5pm. You have just returned home from picking up one child who stayed after school for an activity, three children need help with homework, one of which is learning some kind of math with angles that you know you knew when you were in 8th grade but now have conveniently blocked out of your brain along with leg warmers, Rave-shellacked bangs, and your adoration of all things New Kids On The Block. Dinner is a nagging thought in the back of your head and the the little kids want to go out and play. Since your yard is not fenced in and you have many blind spots as well as very tempting things for children to want to explore in other yards, you decide that the best thing to do is to beg one child to skip homework till after dinner and supervise the littles on the trampoline while you throw something together for dinner and google "complementary angles" to help with the homework. Suddenly, a scream comes from the back yard followed by a chorus of crying young children. After a quick investigation, you discover that you clearly put the wrong child "in charge" on the trampoline. After fussing at that child, firing said child from baby-watching-duties, sending that child back to do his/her homework, you send an alternate in to pinch-hit with the littles. This seems to be working until one of the littles has to go potty while you are browning meat. 5 minutes later, you scrape the burnt edges off of whatever you were cooking, tell the copy-cat pottiers to wait, and give the older child the phone number for The Homework Hotline. After explaining that NO, you DON'T actually use this angle stuff in real life but you DO have to graduate high school to get to college and get to do what you DO want to do in life... and therefore the stupid angle homework IS necessary... there is yet another "emergency" from the back yard. At this point, it is more trouble than it is worth to have someone "watch" the littles... so you decide to pull them all inside (kicking and screaming despite their obvious disdain for playing outdoors) and turn on some kind of mindless entertainment on the TV. Thankful for the instant viewability of Wonderpets on the Wii, you return to the kitchen with a slight "100 yard dash" pep in your step as you remember... "oh CRAP! The chicken!!" Wondering why you don't just invest in a truck load of Ramen Noodles instead of trying to cook actual food, you throw some other ingredients into dinner and toss it into the oven to cook/wait till 6pm. This is the "help" that the big kids have to offer. Just in case you were thinking it's easier...you know who you are. (Just kidding, Jamey... I love you!)

Another hard thing??
Okay... since you asked.
Grieving your previous life is hard.
Well, once upon a time... my husband and I had this routine.
We would wake up at 6am during the school year...
get the middle schoolers onto the bus by 6:35, and have 25-35 minutes of uninterrupted time during which we worked our way through a couple's devotional book, prayed for our day and our running list of prayer requests, drank our coffee under a snuggly blankie on the couch.. and just enjoyed our mornings together.
Now? When he is in town we grumble something about how stinking early the littles wake up, how dark it is, how they wake up at 300 decibels and only go up from there, and how we miss our little bits of time together. We have NO time together. None. Not a bit. Now, I know what some of you are thinking... "aww, let me break out my tiny fiddle and play a sad song for Chrissy." YES. I know some women have husbands who are deployed, some have lost their husbands, some have husbands who work worse hours than mine and others are never going to try that route again because some man has destroyed their faith in the entire male population. HOWEVER, this was one GOOD routine we had put into place in our lives. We worked for over a decade to get it down, to get to the point where we COULD do this... and now its gone. Gone, gone, gone. I hear you saying, "well just stay up later!" or "well, just get up earlier than the littles!" or "just drug the children and lock them in a room for an hour so you can have some quiet time together!"  Let me just say..I can NOT stay up later because I get up early and I get up as early as my brain/body will allow. Sometimes earlier.

Want something else that's hard??
Taking three small children out by yourself.
Not just taking them out, because as if that's not already hard enough...
then there's the inevitable STUPID, IRRITATING, ANNOYING comments we seem to magnetically attract whenever we are out.
YES. There are three of them.
Yes, they are siblings.
Yes, they are close in age.
No, they are not triplets.
No, they are not twins either.
Yes, they were adopted.
No, I won't tell you their history.
No, they don't want to hug you.
No, you can't touch them or their hair.
Yes, they are adorable and I know two look more alike than the third.
And no, my hands weren't this full until you interrupted our groove by asking these questions.
Your unwanted attention has now freaked them out, brought me unnecessary stress, and made the fur on my neck stand up and my canine teeth show a little more. No, not really... but ANY kind of approach by a stranger lately has me totally on-guard and ready to tell someone to "back away slowly, and no one gets hurt."
If we could leave the house in a bubble, not be seen by anyone, and get our errands done without outside interference... oh my gosh.... I just can't even imagine how much easier that would be!!!
When did adult people forget that even if the child is friendly... you are still a stranger to that child!!!
Parents are supposed to teach children to fear strangers!! There's safety in this! Just because my children are really stinking adorable and you want to squeeze them... that does not mean that you can!!

And because I am partial to overly-long blog posts lately...
Want to hear another hard thing??
Sure you do.

It's hard parenting internationally adopted children.
You know those 15 books you read telling you how not to screw them up?
Yeah. I don't either.
I know I read them...
they kinda mesh together into a general warning about Reactive Attachment Disorder, angry teen years, and teaching children appropriate boundaries.
Parenting I.A. kids is a lot like parenting your biological children...
but its WAY FREAKING DIFFERENT too.
For instance...
when my #4 kiddo was a toddler and he got into the pantry and climbed the shelves to get to whatever forbidden food he wanted, simultaneously knocking over many difficult-to-clean-up products in the process... he got swatted on his well-padded, diapered bottom and was made to help clean up the mess. Afterwards, I assured him that I loved him and all was well with the world. Well... same scenario, adopted child with an unknown past, abandonment issues, previous trauma, and who is learning to attach appropriately to his parents...........
What do you do?
My instinct is to swat the well-padded, diapered bottom.
The books tell you NOT to do this as it will permanently damage the child's ability to trust you, and they will wind up sneaking a knife out of the kitchen drawer in the middle of the night to sneak in and kill you when they are a teenager. Or not.
The books tell you to calmly explain to the child that you understand that they must be hungry to have gone through so much trouble to get a snack, and that it must make him feel scared and sad to be hungry. You should then explain that you are in charge of feeding him and that you will not let him starve and that all he has to do is tell you he is hungry and you will provide a snack.

Uh huh. I thought the same thing.

It's SOOOOOOOOOO lovey-dovey-crunchy-granola-mother-earth-loves-me that it makes me want to gag.

But, what do you do?

Raise the kill-his-parents-in-the-middle-of-the-night kid? 

Or the well-adjusted, well-attached adopted child who 

is secure in his family and loves his parents??

And you know what else?? 

Spanking your kid or not spanking your kid... 

there are no guarantees that your kid will 

grow up all super well-adjusted and such.

It's hard. It's hard constantly second guessing every single stinking thing you do as a parent.

Should I continue giving another helping of this meal to this child? She is GOING to explode!

Is this an orphanage behavior or a toddler behavior? Is this an adoption issue or a kid issue?

Knowing the difference in what you are dealing with helps you decipher how to handle it...

but micro-tuning your reactions ALL DAY LONG is hard.

Lots of stuff is hard.

And I don't want to leave you thinking that we have it super easy 

and that life is always super fun and awesome and rosy...

because no one should make decisions like adoption without all the facts.

No one should enter into something like this without knowing that it WILL be hard.

We knew it would be hard. We were prepared. And it's still surprisingly hard.

And even on the hardest day...we wouldn't go back and do it differently.

3 Months Home

Today marks 3 months since we arrived back at home with the littles!


In a lot of ways it seems like much longer than that, but then again... like it was yesterday.


Don't read into that more than what it means... it just seems like some things are progressing rapidly, others aren't! That's just the way it is with children, not just adopted kiddos!


So, our daily routine from 10-weeks home hasn't really deviated too much... there are some minor changes.


One thing I had HOPED would change... our 6am wake-up call... has not changed.
It's pitch-dark in that bedroom when the girls wake up right at 6am like clockwork.
I don't need room-darkening curtains,
I use music in the background all night,
they go to bed at 7 - but we have tried all times between 7 and 9 to get them to sleep later... nothing has worked.
They don't have enough words yet to understand the clock situation and I have convinced them at 7pm that it's dark outside (see? dark! No outside light on!) and that we all sleep when it's dark.
We don't wake up or get out of bed until the "outside light" comes on.
No dice.
I even go in there some mornings and say "still sleep time" and get them to lay back down.
That doesn't work either.
I think Jesus must think this is funny because you have never met a more anti-morning-person than me.
I function on auto-pilot pretty well getting the big kids off to middle school Monday thru Friday, but until I have two cups of coffee in me,
I don't want to hear the Barney song,
I don't want to wipe hineys,
 I don't want to put sippy cups together,
 I don't want to hear screaming or fighting over a toy and
I CERTAINLY don't want to hear the chorus of electronic toys playing different songs.
Give me till 7am and the whole world is a more sunshiney, happy place to be.
The littles don't care about that.
I am SERIOUSLY WORRIED about what will happen the day we "fall back".
Oh my word. I think I will just cry if they begin waking up at 5am.
Enough about that...


Previously, I had a routine of leaving the house by 9am if we were running any errands. Now...
I just try really hard not to run any errands. The shock-and-awe factor we were previously exploiting which caused everyone to behave super well at any new location has now worn off and they are all about going to the "cookie store" (any one of several local grocery stores which offer free cookies to kids).
If I DO need to go anywhere, this is still the best time, however - if I can make it out the door right after the middle two get on the bus at 8am - its a much better arrangement.


Lunch - we do lunch earlier now. 10:45-11 seems to work well. Why so early? Well... the sooner they eat lunch, the sooner we can start getting ready for naps, which - since they have been up since the butt-crack of dawn wake up kinda early, seems to need to take place around 11:15-11:30am.


Nap - Baby Boy is getting a bottle at nap and bedtime.  And, NO... I don't want to hear about bottles and kids and teeth and whatnot. You come get three kids to bed at the same time, one with serious fear of being abandoned, and we will talk. He finishes the bottle before he falls asleep, usually in about 5 minutes, which gives me time to get the girls into bed, tucked in, prayered up, and back into his room. I then take the aforementioned bottle away, say "night night!" and leave. This works 90% of the time. The other 10% of the time I wind up sitting on the end of his bed waiting for him to fall asleep because he is scared of me leaving. That makes me sad.


Nap time gives me a chance to catch up on whatever. Some days I bake, start dinner, read blogs, return emails, call a friend, clean the kitchen, or a rare treat - watch some movie I want to watch without interruption!


Around 2pm they start waking up. Around 3pm the bigger kids get off of the bus and at 4, everyone is home.
Most days we play outside after naps and once 4:30 or 5 rolls around I try to sneak inside leaving the bigger kids out with the littles for a few minutes so I can throw dinner together (if I have not already started it during nap time).


Dinner is normally at 6, but we are moving this a bit earlier so they can get up to bed around 6:30 instead of 7.
From several weeks ago, this still stands: dinner time. 800 reminders to sit on your bottom, 300 reminders to "eat", 290 reminders to chew with your mouth closed, and 287 reminders to use your fork. 


Bed time. Me and the three go upstairs, potty, brush teeth, do lotion, wipe some kind of hydrating cream through their hair, get pajamas on, tuck the girls in, put baby boy in bed as previously described, and hope everyone stays put. 


All in all... things appear mostly the same as they did right around a month ago. 
I think we may be progressing slowly towards being able to communicate more effectively.


How am I? 
Well, I think my biggest downfall is always second guessing myself.
The difference between parenting birth children and parenting adopted children is HUGE.
Not just in the lack of time you have had with them, but in the understanding of their past experiences and how that plays into their daily lives and your daily life with respect to how you respond to them - in positive situations AND in negative ones. 
We have had several snafu's in our parenting strides with these three. 
We can all be having fun when suddenly some "trigger" pops up and one of the three dissolves in a puddle of tears. I have had well-meaning friends and family members tell me how they would parent them if they were in our situation... but you know what? You didn't read a bunch of books on attachment parenting with internationally adopted children. You don't know all the facts about their past. You don't see the wheels turning when some "trigger" pops up and threatens to ruin the moment. I know what I would have done with my first four in any given situation. But take EVERY SINGLE PARENTING TRICK you THOUGHT you knew about raising your birth children... and throw it out the window... and THEN you have an inkling of how it is to deal with 3 children who have had immense trauma in their little lives and need discipline for some infraction. 


Then there's the whole "is this an adoption issue or a pre-schooler issue?" thing that I weigh 40 kazillion times a day. That's a whole other post.


So... to review...
basically no changes except for fine-tuning our daily routines, and it seems everyone is getting more comfortable in their surroundings!


So... if you made it this far...
Congratulations!
Here's a funny-of-the-day from #5 this morning as your reading reward!
I went in the bathroom to assist in the post-potty clean up and she says:
"Mommy...No eat caca."
Me: "VERY true. We don't eat caca."


I believe this may become our new motto.
(Clarification point in case my social worker is reading this... No one has EVER EATEN caca around here.)

We have had custody 10 weeks today!

Okay - letting that sink in.

That seems like a LONG time!!

So, how are things after TEN weeks??

Pretty typical I think!
Here is our typical day at TEN weeks:

6-6:30am - wake up call. Normally it's just the girls that wake up this early, but some days baby boy #7 gets up that early too. Those days are not so much fun. He is not a morning person and should really sleep till at least 7am. We go downstairs, I start the coffee (if I didn't plan ahead and set the coffee maker the night before) and turn on Barney, get cups of milk and cover them with blankets on the couch. School days I have 1 and 2 getting ready to leave by 6:38, so this hour goes by pretty fast. Weekends... not so much. They don't respect the weekend-sleep-in routine we previously held so dear to our hearts. Some days even on Saturday I am awake and on the couch grumbling through stupid Barney by 5:45am. Yuck.

7am - School days we wake up 3 and 4 to start getting ready. Normally by 7:25-7:30 3,4 and the littles are all eating breakfast. I go through our checklist (do you have shoes on? Did you pack your backpack? Do you have your binder? Do you have your snack? What special do you have today? If it's gym.. do you have tennis shoes on?) while reminding the girls to sit on their bottoms and eat. I say this 800 times during each meal. If I forget to say "sit on your bottom!" someone will inevitably fall off the bench onto the floor which will result in an extra 45 minutes of breakfast time since we will stretch it out to include the crying, the consoling and the pouting period afterwards.

7:50 - 3 and 4 out the door. Littles usually watch the bus come and leave and begin their daily emptying of the toy room into the entry way floor.

***** (from here on down, using School Day schedule because on weekends... all bets are off)

8am - I sneak upstairs to get dressed. I have maybe 10 minutes before they all fall apart without my presence.

8:15 - clean up the kitchen. This may take as long as an hour depending on how many children are holding onto my legs while I walk the 3 steps from the dishwasher to the cabinets. Yes, helpful mommas out there... I have tried letting them "help" unload the dishwasher and such... but that ends in disaster as our kitchen is the size of a small shoebox and 4 people all carrying dishes or standing around the dishwasher is just NOT GOOD.

Approx. 9am - begin thinking about asking them to clean up the toys from in the entry way.
If we are going out today to run errands or something, we usually try to leave around this time.

9-11am: Errands, play outside or play inside depending on the day.

11am - begin making lunch in a stealthy way. If I get caught making food, baby boy 7 WILL freak out and cry, climb up my legs and panic until I put him on the counter with me and feed him something.

11:30-12 - typically lunch time. 800 reminders to sit on your bottom, eat your food and telling them how "yummmmmmmm!!!!" their food is so that they believe me.

12 - nap time.
12:05 - 5 in the bed.
12:06 - 6 in the bed
12:08 - 7 in the bed
12:08:30 - back in the girls room. "LAY down! Go to sleep! Do you want to go outside after nap? Then SLEEP!"
12:09 - stick head in boys room - "its okay... go to sleep... Mommy loves you!"
12:10 - back in the girls' room. Stand in doorway and give the "Mom" look.
12:15 - sit in hallway between both rooms and fold laundry while repeating "SHHH! Tegna!" (sleep)
12:30 - typically everyone is asleep.
12:31 - huge exhale and go downstairs.
I may use this break to do house stuff, make phone calls,or talk to Jamey because she can relate. I try to remember to eat lunch at this time so that I don't remember after the littles wake up because then they think its time for them to eat a whole meal too, not just a snack... something that requires a plate, fork and drink. Not cool at 3pm.

2:30-3pm - Typically the time everyone wakes up. I literally RUN to get whoever wakes up first in the girls room so that perhaps the other will sleep for another 30 minutes or so. If they are not awake by 3, they will be awakened.

2:50-3pm - 1 and 2 get home on the bus. Lots of happy screaming from the littles.

4pm - 3 and 4 get home.

4:10-5pm: snacks then go over who has homework and who doesn't, argue the merits of homework, argue against the usage of crayon or pen on homework and begin to think about stealthily preparing dinner. Sometimes one of the older kids will take the littler kids out to play so I can help another couple of them with homework. I am convinced homework is spawned of Satan. (just deleted 5 page rant on homework) Just sayin'.

5-6 : Cook dinner while playing referee, therapist, maid, potty assistant, police officer, and sometimes taxi driver - picking up kids from after school activities.

6pm - dinner time. 800 reminders to sit on your  bottom, 300 reminders to eat, 290 reminders to chew with your mouth closed, and 287 reminders to use your fork.

7pm - clean up dinner stuff, then get the littles off to bed. Brush teeth, lotion, pajamas, potty visit and tucking everyone in. We say prayers, get covered up, go over my (hopeful) request that they sleep till the outside lights come on (sun comes up), and say goodnight. About 50% of the time they go right to sleep. The other 50%... see above nap time schedule.

7:30-8pm - finish cleaning up kitchen, pick up toys, pick up random clothing from all over the downstairs, let dog out again, remind 3 and 4 to do their nightly reading, make sure backpacks have everything in them for tomorrow, and then get a few minutes to relax with the first 4.

8:45 - First 4 go up to bed. Yes, even the 14 and 12 year olds. 9pm bedtime. Yep. I'm that mean. They wake up at 6. It's all gonna be okay. I promise. I used to be religious about tucking them all in, hugs, kisses, prayers etc... but since the babies have been home it's tough to go in their rooms since they all share (except One - he has his own room). Sometimes the littles aren't quite all the way asleep then we have to start the whole bedtime thing over again and THAT is AWFUL.

9-10pm.... AHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Time with hubby when he is home, watch something on TV, read, play online, etc... something that I don't have time to do during the day!

10pm - I TRY to get to bed by 10 since I really need my sleep. Most nights I am successful. Sometimes not.

So... there you have it!
Our day in a schedule/nutshell!

Name Game

I've been bouncing around for months now with what to do about naming my kiddos on the blog.
I want to protect their privacy now and in the future...
and the only way I know how to do that is to give them some kind of nickname to be used here.

I thought about using the nicknames we use at home, but those are mostly just forms of their real names.

I thought about giving them cutesy names just for the blog... something related to their personalities... but I think that may get confusing for my family who reads this.

SO.

My friend Jamey (Hi Jamey!! I have another haiku for you!) suggested that I go with their birth order.

Simple, effective, easy to remember AND I think my family can decipher easily who I am referring to!

SO.

Introducing....

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE

SIX

SEVEN - Baby boy

Introducing the babies!

As we are on our way now to Ethiopia...

it is now allowable for us to show off our babies 

on the internet!

Their referral photo:

And our most recent photos:

Finally click on this link

To see our video montage on youtube! Enjoy!

A Tuesday letter to my babies

Dear sweet babies,
Today, in Ethiopia, you will sit and watch as families take custody of their new children. They will go back to the hotel with their new parents today. I wonder, are your friends saying goodbye today? Tomorrow will be another Goodbye Ceremony. There will be tears, fancy clothes, a coffee ceremony, popcorn, cake and (gasp) orange soda in bottles. Do you watch and wonder when it will be your turn? I wonder if it is hard for you to sit and say goodbye to friends you have known for weeks and months. I am sure it is confusing for you. I am sorry I am not there to explain it to you and hug you and let you know you are no longer alone.

In 8 days we will take our bags to the airport and we will take the very big step onto the plane that will bring us to you! In 10 days, we will be there and it will be YOUR turn to walk down the stairs and meet your Mommy and Daddy. It will be YOUR turn to point us out to your friends and the nannies. It will be your turn to be scared, too - and that's okay. We understand. We are scared too. But, we love you to the moon and back and we will make sure that you never have to be alone again.

Ten sleeps, babies. I know it has been a long time to wait but in just ten more sleeps we get to hug you!

Sometimes people ask me if it feels the same - packing up your clothes and supplies for the trip - if it feels the same as when I was getting ready for my first babies to get here. You know what? It really does! I have folded and sorted, washed and re-folded, re-sorted and laid your clothes into little piles MANY, many times! Every time I pick up a little shirt or a tiny pair of shoes, I smile. I sit and look at little outfits and imagine getting to dress you for the first time! I remember the very same feelings when I packed bags for the hospital - not knowing what would fit, wondering if the tags would be itchy, and imagining dressing the new baby.

This week I have been getting your bedrooms ready! Sam can't wait to share a room with you, Joshua! He is so excited! He prays for all three of you every night, but he talks about his new baby brother the most. He has toys picked out to play with as soon as we get home and he plans to show you your room and your bed, then take you outside to go jump... as soon as we get home!
Girls, today I put some flowers on the walls in your room! Olivia and Allie both think it looks great and we have spent some time making up your beds today with nice sheets, layers of blankets, fluffy pillow and a stuffed animal too! There are a lot of beds in there now, but it still feels empty without you there to tuck in tonight.

I can't believe the time is finally here, babies! I have loved you, prayed for you, stared at your pictures, thought of you and imagined your little bodies around our dinner table for 8 months now! I am so excited to finally get to hug and kiss your sweet little faces! I can't wait to give you your baths and lotion up your little bodies, and dress you in your pajamas for the first night we get to tuck you in! I have some fun toys, books and some coloring pages packed (and I may be able to sneak in some Reese's Pieces if Daddy doesn't catch me!).

I love you Lillian, Evelyn and Joshua!!
Mommy will be there VERY soon!

(Oh, and Lilly... Don't let anyone cut your hair till we get there!!)

How I spent my Saturday

I am SO tired!

Woke up, 

did breakfast for kiddos, 

got dressed, 

went to a couple of stores looking for supplies to 

make my wall mural thing for the boys room, 

came home, 

put bunk beds up, 

created all this:

I bought A Mother For Choco YEARS ago when we first started talking adoption and exploring Guatemala as an option. It made me cry then, and it still makes my throat tighten up now. I am not taking it to Ethiopia.

I would scare the children for sure.

This is a fabric tree... adhered with laundry starch.

I like it.

Bunk beds, minus the top rail... waiting on hubby to put that part on.

Closer view of the branch and leaves.

I am going to make an owl and a squirrel for the tree, 

as per an adorable little boy's request!

All in all...

a very productive day!

Tomorrow - after church I may tackle the girls room!

Photos!

I am the most BLESSED mom today!

My oldest called me from school to tell me something about his schedule and after school activities... 

and he said "I love you!" before hanging up! 

IN PUBLIC. 

AT SCHOOL!

My youngest two got dressed and ready for school with NO issues today, 

ate breakfast without fighting 

and allowed me to get ready with no stress! 

My almost-12 year old daughter cracks me up with her puns 

and sense of humor 

and she makes me proud with her good grades at school!

Then last night I got new photos from Holt of my babies!

2 photos of our 4 year old girl!

3 photos of our 3 year old girl!

Oddly... no photos of our 2 year old baby boy...who we will call Joshua.

Hmmm.

So I emailed Holt...

Today??

3 photos of Joshua!!

They look so wonderful!! 

So much bigger, 

so much healthier, 

so much happier! 

They have hair!

I feel SO very blessed to have received these photos!

And yes... 

they are already printed so I can show them off!

Spaniopians

Tiny little world view: 
Overheard today while eating ice cream...
Sam: "My baby brother is going to say "Hola Amigo!" when he sees me..."
Olivia: "No... it will be "HOLA Amigas!" (accent on the HOLA...)
Me: "Um, guys... they don't speak Spanish in Ethiopia."
Them : "oh."


Homestudy:
We had our final two visits today for our home study!! WOOHOO!!
Paul had his individual interview and we had our home visit where she toured our home and talked to the kids. We had to count smoke detectors. If you have never done that, I highly recommend counting your smoke detectors - you know, just for fun.
We also had to make sure we had a fire extinguisher in the home. I thought we did... I was wrong - it was a butane torch. NOT the same thing. Paul went to buy two extinguishers.
I scrubbed bathrooms - she didn't visit them or even really look inside very well.
I thought for SURE she would check for ring-around-the-tub.


Our oldest thought she was coming to approve our home in some sick "Super Nanny" style. He was afraid she was going to be British and throw away his video games.


We all survived... we may have even enjoyed having her visit! I really didn't stress too badly... however, you might get a different opinion if you asked someone else! ;)


One week from tomorrow is the next committee date.
I was looking at our kids' pictures today and thinking how much I would love to squeeze them and tell them how hard we are working to bring them home quickly!! A home study---paperwork, visits and interviews in 2 weeks?? Insanity. I have read three adoption books in the past three weeks... absorbing them like a Sham Wow. I want the committee members to know how hard we have worked and how many hoops we have jumped through... so we are writing a letter. They may not read it, but at least they will have it for presenting as a part of who our family is.


I was reading today that the founders of Holt International were one of the pioneering families in international adoption. They had 6 bio kids when they adopted 8 (EIGHT) kids from Korea *AT ONE TIME*. Hmmm.... interesting, they didn't think they would be "overwhelmed" and just say "no". One quotation from the story on the Holt website says, "Their example proved that a family’s love can transcend the barriers of nationality and race, that love and commitment are the most important bonds in a family." 
I love that quotation! The line, "love and commitment are the most important bonds in a family"...if they only knew how strongly and deeply I believe that statement to be true!! 


I am SUPER excited for 2010! (Slightly disappointed that we don't have flying cars yet... weren't we supposed to have flying cars?? I remember writing essays about "What will life be like in 2010?" in school! WHEW!)
I really hope 2010 is the year we bring our kids home and that we are able to inspire other families to get off of the adoption fence and expand their own families! 


I can't wait to see what the new year holds!
Blessings!!!

18 hours...

So all those who have gone before me, and all those farther ahead of me in this adoption process...
They are laughing at me right now!
That's ok...
Because in a few hours a group of women will gather to discuss the options for some children who wait in an orphanage. They will discuss our family as though they know us. They will talk about our ability to be parents.

They will try to make the best possible decision for three babies I hope to call my own.

If they do not choose us, I have faith that there is somewhere out there a family who will be better suited to care for them. Some other Mommy will be waiting to to kiss those cheeks and wipe noses and tears.

If they do choose us, this will be a day to circle on the calendar for the rest of our lives! This will be the day that I can say WE were chosen! We were deemed the best choice for this group of children! This will be the moment I will remember, that moment that will help get me through the next several months of paperwork, postage and patience. I will have faces to put with my waiting! I will beg families who travel for some tiny piece of information and for a moment of their precious time to give my three a hug and whisper "Mommy and Daddy are coming for you!" This is the beginning.

Regardless... it's a big day for us as a family!
I hope I do not have false confidence... but I do feel confident that we will be chosen.
I will be so depressed (and embarrassed) if we are not chosen.
Please pray for that meeting - for wisdom and discernment and most of all - faith in us as a family of 9!

You found me on blogger!

Posted by Chrissy on Friday, December 11, 2009

Moving my blog over to blogger instead of yola. It was just harder to use and didn't have the features I wanted.

As of today, we have informed all of our family of our decision to adopt, so I am no longer hiding my identity!
IF my family is here... Hi! Please take some time to read back a bit and catch up on some of my thoughts and my heart on this adoption! Please don't feel left out... the things I post here aren't actually read by anyone! ;)

We found out yesterday that as of the time our sibling group went "on hold for committee" we were the only family interested in them! One step closer to ours! I was worried about perhaps needing to go to committee and being presented by someone else as a possible family for them, and not having much control over the decision. I suppose they could still just choose not to choose us and put them back on the wait list, which would be horrible, but I suppose it could happen.

We should go to committee next Thursday, Dec. 17th.
I am waiting for an email back from Holt to find out if they will work with the homestudy people we are already in process with, otherwise, I am afraid our date may be later on the homestudy due to needing to apply, get different paperwork ready, and schedule an appointment.

Have I mentioned how much I HATE waiting for other people?? Really REALLY hate it.
More updates hopefully to come!