Last weekend before we travel!

How we spent our last weekend as a family of 6:

Saturday-

     

• Breakfast at Cracker Barrel
• Trip to local waterfall to hike to the falls and play in the water
• Fun game of “seek and destroy” with ticks
• One game of Blokus
• One game of Cranium Family Fun
•  Swimming at the Rec Center Pool
•  Family trip to Sam’s Club to buy TONS of food for while we are gone
• Re-organize pantry to accommodate all the food purchased
• Pre-make coffee for Sunday morning, tuck kids in, watch some news, and go to bed.

Sunday-

•          Wake up
•          Coffee
•          Get ready for church
•          Go to church
•          Cry through most of worship
•          Get prayed for by the congregation
•          (Via our favorite pastor who decided to ask God to give us PATIENCE. Seriously.)
•          Lunch at cheap local Mexican place that we love
•          Trip to the mall to find watch fix-it place
•          Decide watch isn’t worth the price to fix it and the new battery
•          Leave the mall
•          Go to Whole Foods to purchase more shelf-stable Gluten-Free foods so I have something “safe” to eat in Ethiopia
•          Go to dollar store
•          Kids choose $40 in junk toys to hopefully keep the newest kiddos entertained in the hotel room in Addis Ababa
•          Come back home to dig duffel bags and suitcases out from under the house
•          Find out our winter coat storage bin got wet in the recent rain
•          Ensuing stress
•          Trip to Laundromat for Paul while I stay home and sort $40 in junk toys into separate piles for rationing toys out during our stay
•          Short visit to super hot attic for one more suit case
•          Find elusive fleece blanket/sleeping bag in attic (yay!)
•          Finish packing toiletries
•          Pack food into hard sided suitcase
•      Begin making more lists of things I still have not done but absolutely need to do before we leave in…

2 days and 16 hours!!!!!

But... at least I have food!!

Only 6 more days! Eeek!

We get on a plane in SIX days!

Am I ready?

Short answer?

No.

I finally finished packing for the babies today!

That's a MAJOR accomplishment!

Anyone who has ever packed for children for a trip knows it is difficult.

Anyone who has ever packed for three children you have never met, have never seen in person, for unknown weather conditions, unknown potty abilities, and unknown sizes...

they are all sighing and nodding their heads in sincere sympathy with me.

I still need to pack for Paul and I.

Well, I am going to let Paul pack for himself...

but I need to pack for me.

This includes clothing, toiletries, 

food, shoes, books, vitamins, 

and the rest of the stuff from my checklist.

I also need to make my master school supply list.

I do this in excel.

It's pathetic, really...

but it combines 4 grade levels of supplies

into one concise list.

I need to double check my paperwork.

I need two more copies of our "supporting documents"

for the embassy since they need one set PER child.

No, the US Embassy can't use the same set for the three of them.

That would make too much sense.

I need to color copy all my important stuff.

I need to print or copy my travel arrangements 

and other important stuff,

insurance card,

directions to the doctor,

directions to the grocery,

directions to the pool...

you know...

the essentials.

I need to finish planning and preparing the daily 

"envelopes" for our kids at home.

We have a daily "thing" for them as a 

count down to when we return.

I need to purchase my airplane reading materials.

I need to send Paul a photo of the specific 

type of adapter we need so he can purchase it.

I need a nap.

I have to drive to my mom's house to pick up another large suitcase.

I have to call the doctor in the morning and

get a rx for Cipro.

I have to call my dentist friend and ask to 

come in for him to look at a tooth.

I have an immense fear that I wind up in 

Ethiopia with an abscessed tooth.

Pack carry-on bag.

Get photo montage ready to post here and on Facebook on Tuesday!

I need to be able to relax and not do any of these things from Friday evening till Tuesday morning so that we can spend our last 3-day weekend together as a family of 6 NOT concentrating on preparations for our trip!

Girls bedroom is DONE (mostly)

BEFORE...

AFTER:

Enchanted Princess Pink on all but one wall 

and I added the fabric flowers with the same technique 

used on the tree in the boys room. 

These were significantly harder... 

maybe because they were more "precise". 

Notice the Bitty Babies on each bed... awwwwwww!!

The teenager part of the room:

Some shelves still need to be put up, but that can wait for hubby.

I think I could leave their room the way it looks today and head to Ethiopia and be okay with that.

So, until the shelves get hung, I am done with kid bedrooms!

A Tuesday letter to my babies

Dear sweet babies,
Today, in Ethiopia, you will sit and watch as families take custody of their new children. They will go back to the hotel with their new parents today. I wonder, are your friends saying goodbye today? Tomorrow will be another Goodbye Ceremony. There will be tears, fancy clothes, a coffee ceremony, popcorn, cake and (gasp) orange soda in bottles. Do you watch and wonder when it will be your turn? I wonder if it is hard for you to sit and say goodbye to friends you have known for weeks and months. I am sure it is confusing for you. I am sorry I am not there to explain it to you and hug you and let you know you are no longer alone.

In 8 days we will take our bags to the airport and we will take the very big step onto the plane that will bring us to you! In 10 days, we will be there and it will be YOUR turn to walk down the stairs and meet your Mommy and Daddy. It will be YOUR turn to point us out to your friends and the nannies. It will be your turn to be scared, too - and that's okay. We understand. We are scared too. But, we love you to the moon and back and we will make sure that you never have to be alone again.

Ten sleeps, babies. I know it has been a long time to wait but in just ten more sleeps we get to hug you!

Sometimes people ask me if it feels the same - packing up your clothes and supplies for the trip - if it feels the same as when I was getting ready for my first babies to get here. You know what? It really does! I have folded and sorted, washed and re-folded, re-sorted and laid your clothes into little piles MANY, many times! Every time I pick up a little shirt or a tiny pair of shoes, I smile. I sit and look at little outfits and imagine getting to dress you for the first time! I remember the very same feelings when I packed bags for the hospital - not knowing what would fit, wondering if the tags would be itchy, and imagining dressing the new baby.

This week I have been getting your bedrooms ready! Sam can't wait to share a room with you, Joshua! He is so excited! He prays for all three of you every night, but he talks about his new baby brother the most. He has toys picked out to play with as soon as we get home and he plans to show you your room and your bed, then take you outside to go jump... as soon as we get home!
Girls, today I put some flowers on the walls in your room! Olivia and Allie both think it looks great and we have spent some time making up your beds today with nice sheets, layers of blankets, fluffy pillow and a stuffed animal too! There are a lot of beds in there now, but it still feels empty without you there to tuck in tonight.

I can't believe the time is finally here, babies! I have loved you, prayed for you, stared at your pictures, thought of you and imagined your little bodies around our dinner table for 8 months now! I am so excited to finally get to hug and kiss your sweet little faces! I can't wait to give you your baths and lotion up your little bodies, and dress you in your pajamas for the first night we get to tuck you in! I have some fun toys, books and some coloring pages packed (and I may be able to sneak in some Reese's Pieces if Daddy doesn't catch me!).

I love you Lillian, Evelyn and Joshua!!
Mommy will be there VERY soon!

(Oh, and Lilly... Don't let anyone cut your hair till we get there!!)

Packing has commenced!

Yes, that's right... I have begun packing!

(Okay, okay... confession time... 

I was cleaning my room and rearranging a bit since my MIL 

is coming to stay here and I needed to move the table 

all that stuff was sitting on... so into the bag it went! 

But it still counts!)

How I spent my Saturday

I am SO tired!

Woke up, 

did breakfast for kiddos, 

got dressed, 

went to a couple of stores looking for supplies to 

make my wall mural thing for the boys room, 

came home, 

put bunk beds up, 

created all this:

I bought A Mother For Choco YEARS ago when we first started talking adoption and exploring Guatemala as an option. It made me cry then, and it still makes my throat tighten up now. I am not taking it to Ethiopia.

I would scare the children for sure.

This is a fabric tree... adhered with laundry starch.

I like it.

Bunk beds, minus the top rail... waiting on hubby to put that part on.

Closer view of the branch and leaves.

I am going to make an owl and a squirrel for the tree, 

as per an adorable little boy's request!

All in all...

a very productive day!

Tomorrow - after church I may tackle the girls room!

Yuck.

So, I have had this stomach virus for 3 days.

3 days lost.

I can't sit and look at the computer for long...

I don't have the energy for phone calls...

I certainly can't go shopping..

so I am stuck.

Till this virus goes away

all my travel plans are just

on hold.

I hate it.

I have barely eaten anything since Monday night.

I have had a headache since around 2am last night...

I think its from dehydration.

Our travel group's conference call is today at 4.

I really wanted to enjoy these plans.

Instead I fall asleep every 30 minutes or so

and dream about the things I wish I was getting done.

Stupid virus.

Sad thing of the day

There is no "unknown" answer to circle.
Just Y or N.
I don't know what they weighed at birth.
I don't think anyone does.
I don't know if they have ever stayed overnight in a hospital.
I don't know about their birth or pregnancies.

This makes me very sad.

What do you wake up thinking about?

Well, if you are 6 months, 2 weeks and 5 days into the love of three babies in Ethiopia...
your morning thoughts may look like this:

Coffee and Blackberry...

what time is it in Eugene, Oregon at the agency office?

Perhaps sorting some paperwork for the travel binder is in order.

Begin ANOTHER "To Do" list

Perhaps do a little good-deal shopping on line to check something off of the ubiquitous to-do list!

Casually read over the packing list (one more time) and see what can be simplified.

Sit and wonder, 

Daydream and hope, 

Pray and plead

that today will be the day

they call and say its time.

Another reason why it's hard to wait

A friend dropped off some clothes and

inside that bag was this really cute pair

of baby girl crocs.

I don't know if they will fit...

but I will take them just in case!

I miss you, babies.

Mommy will be there really soon, I promise.

I think the dry cleaner lost my positive pants.

My sister has this thing for Positive Pants.

It's somewhat like
"put on your big girl panties and deal with it..."

but in a more positive manner.

I wrote a post a long time ago wearing said pants...

but recently I have begun to come to the realization 

that either

A. Someone STOLE my positive pants!

or

B. The dry cleaner LOST them.

or 

C. They are too tight and I have to lay on the bed 

and suck in my tummy to zip them up, 

thus rendering them banished to the far 

recesses of my mental closet.

I'm gonna go with B.

Not really.

I know I have been in a funk.

Even the passing court news didn't hit me quite as 

wonderfully upside the head as I was hoping it would.

Not that I am not excited... 

I am very excited to meet my children.

I am just tired.

Monday I felt wronged by the tone of
someone's voice over the phone.

Tuesday I wrote an email that was like
an internet fart that cleared the whole room.

Today I wait for a phone call with our
agency to help settle me down.

I don't think you can ever really be 
prepared for the emotions of an adoption.

The obsessing, the panic, the paperwork craziness, 

the elation followed by sheer devastation, 

the unknowns, the timeline madness,

 the joy, the fear,

the anxiety and

the peace.

It can be wonderful,
but it can also make you absolutely insane.

Right now, the next person who asks me how soon 

till we bring them home may wind up being my kleenex.

Then there's the fear.

What will this look like once we are home?

How many ways will my life change?

Will I have time to do ANYTHING for myself anymore?

Will I live in a complete disaster zone 

since I can't put any one child down for 

more than 5 seconds all day long?

What if they don't get along?

What if we DON'T bond right away?

What if, what if, what if, what if....

And the thing is...

You can't prepare for every "what if".

You can't plan for the unknowns.

All you can do is prepare the best you know how to do,

Ask for prayers for everything under the sun,

Hope you get to go get them soon,

try to be at peace,

and trust that (as much as you hate to hear it)

this part will be over soon.

How soon is soon?

I don't know.

That's the cruddy part.

It's not like being pregnant and knowing that 

no matter what, you won't go over 42 weeks.

SO...

I am hereby promising to relocate my positive pants.

I will not wallow in the muck and ickiness
of worry, doubt and fear.

I will know that all of this is beyond MY control..

so I can let go of my false sense of control.

I will relax and enjoy the last few weeks I have at home with my
4 kids and prepare to have 7 running around.

I will do my (awful, horrible, gigantic pile of) laundry

AND put it away

AND not threaten to institute naked week.

I will smile more and remember that my worry 

is causing unsightly lines around my eyebrow/nose area.

And I will squeeze into those positive pants if it kills me.

Taking care of "our own" first

I don't remember where I was recently when the topic of adoption came up...

I may have overheard it at the pool, or read some bitter person's blog.

However, the statement went something like:

"Why would anyone adopt from another country when 

there are SO many children in the 

US Foster Care system that need homes, too?"

Well, let me answer that from our family's perspective on this particular adoption.

We wanted to maintain birth order in our family.

I realize, this isn't a big deal to many families, but it was for us.

Enough said.

At the time that meant adopting a child under 6 years old from the foster care system.

We knew that wanting siblings and younger kids would be a tough call from the US system, not impossible, but more difficult.

We also feel that God didn't draw the boundaries on our maps and tell us to stay inside our zone.
Ethiopia is as much "our own" as Texas or Kentucky.
They are all His...
and He wants families for all of them.

So, for those "take care of our own" folks out there...

Go for it!

Adopt domestically!

But, if you read your Bible... God is pretty clear about going into all of the world... not just those boundaries someone drew on a map. 

It's not always about helping "our own", it's about who becomes your own.

I have seven children.

4 home-grown, and 3 from Ethiopia.

They are all MY OWN.

Forever.

And that is a beautiful thing!

Court Approval!

We PASSED court!!

We have 7 children!

They have our last name!

They are no longer orphans!

We are theirs and they are ours!

It's just amazing.

AAHHhhhh-mazing.

We officially passed on June 1st, we just found out today!

Yesterday was our 15th wedding anniversary.

We had been waiting on the info about our court date 

since Tuesday at the opening of business Pacific time...

but there was no news.

I called the agency...

they still had no news.

There is a problem sometimes

getting news from ET to the USA in

a timely manner.

Sometimes it's a power outage,

sometimes it's no internet,

sometimes its whatever.

But we waited.

Tuesday... no news.

Wednesday... no news.

Thursday... no news.

But then today...

as we were driving back from our

anniversary get-away in Atlanta...

my phone went

*DING!*

And there it was!

THE email.

"Court Approval!"

I nearly crashed the car.

Hubby was on a business call and I 

excitedly passed him my phone, 

pleading (somewhat) silently with him to read it!!!

Once he FINALLY got off of the phone

 (which was probably 90 seconds, but FELT like 10 minutes)

he opened the message.

And so, at 11:27am today...

we found out we are the parents to 7 beautiful children!

Mr. Passport

I have this Mr. Passport.

I went to the post office on the busiest mailing day of the 

Christmas season to put in my application

 and get photographed.

I got it in the mail in early January.

It was a fun envelope to open.

It was hope with a government stamp.

Like, "Here! Go travel somewhere awesome!"

Since then it has sat in our fireproof safe.

Just sitting there.

Getting all indignant.

Now Mr. Passport is like 

"Yo. Whassup with the box?

I need STAMPS.

Like COOL ones.

This box is TINY.

And not any fun."

I know.

I feel your pain Mr. Passport.

Soon I hope...

I will get you your stamp.

There. I said it.

Life isn't fair.

I tell my kids this all the time.

Like practically every day.

Them:

"But!! That's NOT FAIR!!"

Me:

"Life isn't fair. Whoever told you it is... they lied to you."

I spoke with the Ethiopia program director this morning.

She confirmed what I had heard.

All of the June Visa dates are full.

30 appointments.

Full.

This means, 

IF we pass court on June 1..

the soonest we could travel is for the 

July 13th Visa Appointments.

This would put us on a plane around July 8th.

I am not holding my breath.

If this process has taught me ANYTHING it's that

you can't HOPE.

You can only wait.

If I find myself hoping to travel mid-July...

I will be crushed when those travel dates fill up and

we aren't on the list.

At this point, I just pray we get there before August.

The back-to-school rush will be upon us at that time 

and all 4 school aged kids are starting new schools

this year. Brand New. Like, they don't have a parking lot yet.

So there will be meetings, paperwork, and I will once again 

create an Excel Spreadsheet to organize the lists of required 

school supplies for 4 kids and their teachers. 

Then they will go to school and teachers will 

add to my list once I am done shopping. 

So we wait.

And then we wait some more.

And it stinks.

And I hate it.

I am tired of waiting.

I want to be able to DO something.

Something to take care of my three babies.

It's not fair.

And I should have known it wouldn't be.

Not to complain...

but REALLY??

Today I found out that two other families who are 

adopting siblings are traveling in the June 29th travel group.

One other family is also going and picking up one child.

Do you know what this means??

FIVE of the Embassy appointment spots are TAKEN already.

FIVE.

Five of the ten available on each date.

And you know what else??

I don't know everyone using Holt...

there could easily be 5 other kids being picked up already.

Which means...

even if we pass court on June 1...

we won't be able to travel till Mid-July at the earliest.

July 13th is the next date after the June 29th appointment.

I am SO frustrated!!!

I know all about things being "in God's timing"...

but you CAN'T tell me that it's God holding up our adoption.

You can't tell me that He would prefer our kids to wait in

a group home for one moment longer than they need to.

There is NO good reason for them to be there still.

There is NO good reason for us to not have 

passed court on the 18th.

I miss my babies.

I want them home.

I KNOW we take up 3 visa appointments and

I know that isn't going to sit well with some people

but you know what?

We have been waiting longer.

We have waited longer than anyone 

else on the waiting list right now.

My kids have been there longer.

I am TIRED of watching people decide to adopt, 

fly through the system, 

and pick up tiny babies before 

my kids get to come home.

I know those parents want their infant children

home just as much as I do...

but 2 more weeks to a 6 month old is not the 

same as 2 more weeks for children who 

were 2, 3 and 4 at referral who are now 

going on 3, 4 and 5 years old.

I want them home.

I want to travel in June.

I want to be done waiting.

I want my family together.

All of them.

Finding my smile....

Ok, so in my feeble attempt to help a friend find HER smile... I found this old post of mine while looking through some old blog stuff.

Check out where we are... TOO funny today!

I often feel like I do not do a very good job at communicating ideas to people, so I come up with little analogies.

Today... it's the Adoption Road Trip.

If I were to describe the adoption process in these terms, I think most people can identify.

I keep getting the question "how soon till they come home"... well...read on.

Deciding to adopt = "Road Trip!!!!!"

Choosing a country/agency/home study social worker = Deciding on the destination
Home study paperwork (essay questions, birth certificates, marriage license, scheduling doctor visits) = Washing laundry, hauling suitcases out of the attic, getting the oil changed in the car

Home study visits, more paperwork = packing suitcases, loading up the car

Dossier almost done = "Everyone go to the potty ONE more time!"

Mail the dossier, Mail the I600A = "Here we go!"

Dossier arrives at agency = "Honey, did you lock the back door?"

Dossier approved! = First road sign... 3000 miles to destination

Waiting for dossier to get to Ethiopia = Everyone ELSE in the car is asleep. Car sickness creeping in.

Dossier in Ethiopia, Get fingerprinting appointment with FBI =Quick stop at rest area, have a snack, potty.

Waiting for court date = "Moooommm! She's looking at me!!" and "Well, he won't share his gummy worms!"

Court Date and waiting for news = "Ooohh... only 300 miles till the world's largest ball of string!"

Finding out you have a 2nd court date = Dog vomits in the car, no place to pull over, no rest area for 50mi.

Finally passing court = Overnight stop at hotel with free room service and indoor waterpark! Woohoo!

Waiting for travel date = Back in the car, wondering what that smell is.

Getting a travel date = Road sign "100 miles to go"! Start to calculate arrival in minutes instead of hours.

Packing, going to the airport, boarding the flight = Exit ahead!

Arrival and meeting your child for the first time = You have finally arrived!

There are pot holes, there are traffic jams, there are flat tires, there are wonderful moments of bliss that make you glad you get to take this trip...but its and unpredictable timeline under ANY circumstances. Sometimes, you just have to take an unexpected potty break.  

It's not a perfect analogy, but hopefully...someone out there who has not adopted before and doesn't know much about the process for us or other families will understand that at some points on this adoption ride, parents are not getting updates as frequently as they would like (raising my hand here...),  don't know why it's taking so long, are on the verge of tears at the thought of having another delay... and as much as we fully welcome your questions, thoughts, prayers and concerns... sometimes needing to say one more time that we don't have any new news... well, its like the "Are we THERE YET???" coming from the back seat every 5 minutes. 

Didn't pass

It was strange.

Paul and I both thought we would pass.

Not sure why... I mean, I thought I was prepared to not pass the first time -all things considered.

But when I checked my phone for emails today and started seeing "We passed!" and "She's ours!"

and I thought, "Wow! They are sending out news FAST today!" then I saw an email from Holt!

Suddenly, I thought it was possible!

Then I opened the email.

Unfortunately for us, the Ministry of Women's Affairs in Ethiopia did not have a letter to the court on time for our case.

Yeah, that's what I thought too... "WHAT?! They had 18 days to get that letter done and to the court!"

So... we are rescheduled for June 1st.

I do have a tiny bit of hope. The hope is that MOWA will send this letter over to the court and the court will just process our paperwork right away instead of waiting two weeks.

If not... we still wait.

This is yet another thing that just isn't fair, or right or orderly or organized in international adoption.

How do you know?

Sometimes when people find out about our adoption, they feel like they must answer in a certain way. 

Most of the time they tell us what wonderful people we must be (...uh huh...), or how we are going to be in heaven for sure now (yeah, but adopting isn't getting us there). A lot of the time we hear an excuse like "I have always wanted to adopt, but....".

But other times when people take the time to HEAR our story, WHY we are doing this...

they ask a deeper question. "But HOW do you KNOW this is what God is asking you to do?"

Hmmm.

Good question!

Here is one thing I know: If you never step out in faith... you won't ever know for sure if you HAVE faith.

I think faith is as much a verb as it is anything else. Sure, you can pray in faith, you can live faithfully, you can be faithful... but until you SHOW your faith by DOING the thing being asked... are you really living like you have faith?

If Paul and I had said "Yes, God... we will adopt when you fill up our bank account, give us a bigger house and a bigger car, and make a hole in our work schedules so we can travel...", is that having faith? Or is that putting God in a me-sized box?

So how do we know for sure that this is what God has asked?

We took the first step. In faith. We filled out an application and sent in a fee. Then we waited and prayed. We saw our kids on a waiting child list. We prayed and took another step. We kept praying and allowing God to stop our process at any point. We did not give up with man made things difficult on us... but we prayed that if He were the one shutting doors - that we would see it and heed that direction. We kept moving forward until we heard STOP. We are still listening... and moving forward.

There have been many points on our journey when it would have been easy to say "you move then I respond"  to God. 

It doesn't always work that way. 

God moves on our hearts and in our minds. 

He creates opportunities. 

He opens doors. 

He closes doors.

He blesses the steps you take in faith.

Sometimes... you have to keep moving forward in anticipation of the blessing.

Sometimes you have to be on auto-pilot to make it through a tough day. Or week. Or month.

But always, if you move when the Lord tells you to, you will be blessed.

And sometimes....blessed TIMES THREE! 

We may not pass court today in Ethiopia. They may not hear our case.

They may postpone us till another day or week.

We pray that we pass... but we know sometimes things don't work out the way we want.

We WILL pass court.

We WILL get to Ethiopia to get our babies.

I would LOVE to pass court today and I sure pray it happens.

But if we don't pass...

God is still good.

And we are still on the right path, the path the Lord ordained for us.

Court Date thoughts

6 days from now...

in a courtroom in Ethiopia...

our family may increase by three!

I say "may"
because our agency 

(and all other agencies operating in Ethiopia) 

are sure to tell you that you need to be prepared

for more than one court date.

Why is that?

Well...

several reasons would cause

us to not pass court that day.

There's the possibility they power could be out.

The surviving relative may not show up.

Paperwork may not match exactly.

Something may not be signed.

They may just not get to us that day.

There are A. LOT. of families with 5/18 court dates.

A WHOLE lot.

Like 12 that I know of.

This accounts for a minimum of 16 children.

Children who need to come home.

Please pray starting now!

Pray that all our "I's" are dotted...

"T's" are crossed...

signatures are correct and complete...

everyone necessary is in attendance...

power is on...

and we PASS court.

While you are at it...

pray that we are able to travel SOON!

There are 3 visa appointment dates for our agency in June.

I really hope we are able to get assigned the middle date...

but God knows when we need to be there.

Also...

I got connected with a local group of 

African Adoption peeps!

SO looking forward to meeting them all at 

the next monthly get-together!

If you are in the Nashville area...

check out 

Fellowship 686