Calling the NOT called.

Shocking statement:

NOT everyone is called to adopt.

Some in the adoption-advocacy world would have you think

that every family should add to their numbers through adoption. 

I find that a dangerous statement to make.

Adoption is HARD.

It's not for everyone.

 There are situations, circumstances, dynamics

that shouldn't be messed with.

Sure, I read my bible.

I know what it says about

"defending the cause of the fatherless"

and 

"help widows and orphans in their distress".

But I can't find in my Bible the idea that 

"adopting a child makes you more Christian"

because it doesn't.

Of all the orphans in the world 

only 4% are under the age of 5 years old.

Did you know that?

I know I didn't when we first thought about adoption. 

I pictured snuggly babies in fuzzy blankets.

Apparently, that's the exception rather than the rule.

Older child adoption is HARD.

Kids come with their own sense of "right" and "wrong".

They have survived more than most Americans will ever witness, 

much less actually experience.

They are stubborn and define "strong willed child".

They can act out.

They can make you want to rip out all of the hairs on your head by the roots.

They machine gun attack you with questions when you just need a moment of quiet

to have your first cup of coffee.

They think they know EVERY thing there is to know about EVERYTHING.

You EARN their love.

They don't freely give it away.

But if you're lucky enough to earn it..

it's a beautiful thing.

Sometimes I get a glimpse of the fear and desperation 

that inhabits the hearts of my "older" children.

It reminds me that while NOT ALL are called to adopt personally,

we really need to rally around those who are.

This is not rookie stuff.

 This isn't just a pile of junk.

These are the treasures of a 6 year old boy.

These things are under his mattress. This is half of his stash.

Most of the items I gave him when we met in January of this year.

A notebook, photo albums, a pencil pouch...

a magazine from Ethiopian Airlines, a loose picture of his brother,

church papers, a bible, a gold medal from our Kidlympics.

He stores away his treasures.

He sleeps on top of this lumpy mess every night.

He keeps it safe. 

Someday he won't feel the need to save everything he has.

Someday he will feel safe enough to let some things go.

That day is not today.

It's only been 4 1/2 months.

I have a friend  who is advocating on behalf of a special pair of children.

She met them personally in Ethiopia and she's helping them get home.

They have a family who is coming for them

when many others wouldn't.

"but they are SO old!"

"wow... what about previous abuse? would it even be SAFE?"

Faith is hearing the thing you're supposed to do

and believing that the Lord who calls you wants what is best for your life

and trusting Him to lead you into the best.

Sweet brother and sister pair who have been given their heart's desire: a family coming for them.

 Nope...

not everyone could take on these two.

Not everyone should.

But if you personally feel that the Lord has blessed you

so that you can be a blessing to others

I know a family who would greatly treasure

any sort of donation to their adoption fund.

They are under a time crunch to get the money needed to continue 

their pursuit of these two sweet faces.

Here's the link if you want to help bring them home:

Help Helen & Habtamu Home!
(click then scroll down to "Helen and Haptamu found their family!")
 I'd prefer "Helen and Haptamu's family found them..." alas.

Could you donate and tell them you believe in them?

Could you toss a few dollars into their bucket and tell them it's going to be okay?

Could you tell them you'll put their names on your fridge and pray for them because you know there will be hard stuff... but you'll hold up their arms through it all?

Could you encourage them as they armor-up for the journey ahead?

I'd appreciate it.

And as for us?

Our "older kids" are learning and growing and doing some amazing stuff!

Just last night I helped our 8 year old son with his 3rd grade homework.

He's been in America for 4.5 months and he's sounding out words and learning to read!

It's amazing.

I'm humbled and blessed to get to be a small part of this.