Wednesday, August 24, 2011


I read a lot of adoption stories.
A lot of them.
It intrigues me what motivates other families to bring children into their homes, what their process looks like, how they meld together once home, the struggles and successes of their journeys and their similarities or differences to ours.

I have been asked quite a few times lately about adoption in general, about getting started, and about what to think about ahead of time.

My biggest warning isn't about birth order, agencies, country programs, fear of social workers, or even attachment.

My biggest warning has been the spiritual attacks that inevitably come.
Honestly, friends... I think the other issues are workable. You can ask friends what agency they used. You can read review websites, discern which country program is best for your family, read tons of books on attachment, and scrub your baseboards before your social worker visits (or, not...).

But there is no amount of preparation or planning that can effectively ready your heart for a spiritual attack.

Know why?
Because the Enemy strikes at your heart.

He knows your fears... he put them there.
("For GOD has not given us a spirit of FEAR, but of power and love and a sound mind." 2 Tim 1:7)

He knows your weaknesses and exploits with half-truths.
("Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?" Ge 3:1)

He wants you down, depressed, sad and deflated.
(The enemy pursues me, he crushes me to the ground; he makes me dwell in darkness like those long dead. Ps 143:3)

He wants you dead.

(Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1Pet.5:8)

In adoption, there is loss and redemption.
There is pain and there is joy.
I am not discounting the difficulties along the way, or negating the grief that our children deal with. Those things are very real.
What I AM saying is that orphans are close to God's heart.
He cares for them.
He cares for the lost, the lonely, the desolate, the depressed, the unworthy and the unloved.
God has a plan for their lives just like He does for my life and for yours.
You may be part of that plan- or a part of the plan of those who are making them their children.

I have said it before, but when you step out in obedience to God, you engage the Enemy.

He comes to steal, kill and destroy.
He is the father of lies.
He is sly and he is charming.
His lies look like truths that came from your own thoughts.
He steals trust, faith and belief.

Step out in obedience to God in an adoption...
you might as well set off a flare letting him know where you live.

He does NOT want children in Jesus-loving families.
He wants them to feel unloved and to believe that they are unworthy.
He wants them to be angry at God for making promises such as "I will not leave you as orphans... I will come to you".
He wants them to stay waiting in an orphanage somewhere with no hope.

So what does this look like?
How can you begin to prepare?

Be ready and expecting the attack.

Appliances will go out,
cars will suddenly need expensive repairs,
you will get a bill you weren't expecting.
He attacks your finances because it affects your trust that God will provide the needed money to bring your children home.

Be in prayer.

You and your spouse will suddenly be irritated by every little thing the other one does.
The kids will forget all their manners and maybe even get in trouble at school.
Your friends will leave or betray you and your family will seem distant.
He attacks those around you to make you doubt that you can handle the changes coming your way. He wants you down and depressed so you can make big decisions in that frame of mind.

Ask friends and family to pray for you too.
You won't catch every flaming arrow shot your direction. 
Some will be direct hits when you weren't expecting it.
A phone call that brings you to your knees...
Sudden changes or bad news from your agency...
A job crisis or financial hit.

Pray for strength, wisdom and fierce resolve.
In the middle of the storm threatening your family, your marriage, your children...
do not be afraid to get ANGRY.
The Bible is clear that we have the power within us to resist Satan.
("So place yourselves under God's authority. Resist the devil, and he will run away from you." James 4:7)

Be strong and courageous, identify it for what it is, and be encouraged that if you weren't on the right track, you wouldn't be drawing any attention from those who would thwart those plans.
("Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Josh 1:9)

And make sure you journal your experiences.
Someday you will look back on this and see a very clear picture of God's divine protection and providence in your life!

*Edited to say: 
Here's what we have been facing at the Injera and Chocolate Gravy household, within the past 2 weeks:

  • Blown Air Conditioner Compressor on the big van
  • Power Steering went out on the other van
  • Door to the house from the garage that needs to be taken off and repaired because if "shifted" somehow
  • Shower leaking onto the kitchen table
  • Washing Machine leaking... still trying to figure out that repair
  • Oldest child with a concussion from a skateboard accident
  • #5 to the radiologist for a hurt foot that looked broken
  • Arguing spouses
  • Defiant children
  • Friendships tested
  • Schools not working with us on placement
Therefore, we must be doing something right. 

Blessings to everyone who has shared this post, shared their hearts through email and comments, supported and encouraged others with these thoughts... 
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." (Eph 3:20: )


  1. Awesome post! I needed this pep talk. Thank you for the reminder. We haven't even started the paperwork and the arrows are taking aim.

  2. it makes me wonder sometimes how families get through it all without Christ in their lives. Thank you for this! It's soo true!

  3. This is truth you are writing and it is truth I needed to be reminded of today. Thank you

  4. i was expecting the spiritual warfare to some degree, but this past year has beat me up silly. and yet, God remains ever-fixed: unchanging and bigger than all of this and so worth it all.

  5. Sister-friend....I am sure you can see me doing the double snake hands right now! I am proud of your awareness of an enemy that is very real and I am admiring your armor. You can have bad hair days when you put the helmet on. You don't have to paint your toenails if you wear the boots of peace. I love this post. You knew I would. Thanks for being bold and kicking the devil in the teeth.

  6. Hi chrissy! What an awesome post....and SO true!! We are in the process of adopting, and have had many darts thrown at us as well. would you mind if I put a link to this post in my blog? SO well put!

  7. hehehe this would have SO helped me better understand what our tribulations have been have helped to put my thoughts and, even fears, into words in a mouch more intelligent way than i was able to.....and the ironic things as these attacks happen so many people think that its a sign that *God* doesnt want them to adopt, ....sad

  8. Thank you for a wonderful post, Crissy! Sweet Blessings warrior Mama!! Love, Gillian

  9. I'm so sorry to read about all the spiritual attacks you and your family are experiencing. I agree, you must be doing something right. We've had some pretty rough days over here as well, so I can relate with you on many levels. One thing I know for sure is that as I've become more aware of the spiritual warfare going on around us, it has drawn me closer to God and I'm experiencing Him in a way I haven't before. From reading your post, it seems that these attacks are drawing you closer to Him as well.

  10. Why would anyone dislike this? (No one has so far, but the un-friend comment on FB). I especially like the line you CANNOT have my family! I felt that in my bones, and know exactly how that feels. Keep going how you're going, warrior mommy!!

  11. I'm not kidding when I say that this post has been the words of God for me -- I've never been to your blog, and randomly clicked on your link from another blog without actually meaning to. I wish I could comment anonymously because I could tell you how hopeless things have felt lately -- we're 7 months in to an older-child sibling int'l adoption. But you have brought me to tears and to humility and to a place of trusting that God knows, knows, KNOWS what He's doing in our family. I've been so crushed under with feelings of regret and resentment and questioning, and I have lost sight of these truths. THANK YOU for reminding me.

  12. Thank you for this post!!! It is EXACTLY what I needed to read and keep at the forefront of my mind since we are in the very beginning stages of our process.

  13. This is an issue that I wish I had taken more seriously during our first year home. Great post!

  14. UGH...YES! While our financial stuff is looking up and God is definitely providing there the enemy has definitely found another area to attack in my life! I have just been so down lately and feel like my life could not possibly move forward anymore until my children are home with me. I have been tired, sick, depressed, lukewarm spiritually...BLAH! Thank you for the reminder that I have the power to tell him to LEAVE.MY.FAMILY.ALONE!

  15. This is awesome! In our five "processes" to six of our nine blessings (one on the way) we have had to fight every time. When the master of lies found that a fire, break-in, holes in roof, stone lost in wedding ring, termites, broken fridge and washing machine, exploding foundation (no joke) didn't work he went after our kids (an unsuccessful child predator)....this post is AWESOME.

    We are at war for our children....and EVERY BIT is worth it.

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  17. Thank you for sharing words of wisdom and truth! I know I came to read these truths to help me continue the journey! Putting my battle gear back on and charging forward! God Bless you!!!!

  18. We have adopted five kids and I often warn/encourage friends just beginning the process that adoption is probably one of the biggest spiritual battles we will ever face! Like you said...the Enemy's attack is evidence that we are doing something right. What joy it is when Jesus gets the victory and a family is created to the glory of God!

  19. Thank you so much for this post! Your words were meant for me to read today.

  20. we've been living this on a couple fronts (adoption/mission work) and for a while i thought i might be off my rocker to think that ever since we began walking this path our lives and those of our friends/family/support system seem to regularly disintegrate. thank you for the validation that i'm not, in fact, crazy. or at least not in this regard.

    :) y'all are something beautiful.


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