Sometime soon I will be posting my travel notes that I wrote while we were in Ethiopia.
You may find something curiously missing from my notes.
There will not be any photos or information about my children,
their birth-family or our meeting.
I may share some emotions I felt, but nothing specific.
Why, you ask?
I know several other blogs who have shared information
about their child’s birth parent, even photos,
and that’s fine for them…
But, here is MY reasoning (take it or leave it).
My children have a story.
It is THEIR story.
The details surrounding how they happened to join our family are private.
Since the whole concept of the internet is foreign
to those in rural areas of Ethiopia,
we do not know if our children’s birth family member
would approve of having a photo posted online.
Hence, the photos we have will be for our children
to share if they choose –
some day in the future.
Some things should just be theirs.
They can’t retain the sights, smells or sounds of their home country.
They can’t retain the feeling of their first home
or the arms of those they first loved.
They can’t hear the words spoken about them,
the hopes and dreams their family member shared…
But they can have this:
The knowledge that the love, hopes and desires of their first family will be treasured by us and saved for them and their eyes, ears and heart – for when they are ready.
It's not much, but it is the best we can do.
Someday they will know the questions we asked,
the questions we were asked in return,
and the covenant we share with
the only other person in the world who
knows what it is to call them “my baby”.
Someday we will tearfully explain, in great detail,
the moments in Ethiopia that took our breath away.
Someday I will hold them while they cry
and mourn the loss of their first family.
Someday I will cry as I tell them how I sobbed on their
Daddy's shoulder by a coffee tree after our meeting was over,
knowing we had just said 'goodbye' to the only
connection to their past.
Someday my children will know how much they are loved-
on two continents, in two languages, by many hearts.
But it won’t be shared here.