Saying goodbye

2010 was a good year.

We watched in amazement as things 

progressed with our adoption of our babies.

We saw God provide in ways we weren't sure

were even possible.

We learned that nothing is impossible for Him!

It's a little sad for me to see 2010 leaving.

There's comfort in resting in the same place where

you have seen the Lord working. 

Reminding myself that there's nothing magical about

a number on the calendar, I still see the new year approaching

with a little twinge of sadness.

Here are some of my favorite memories of 2010:

• Finishing our homestudy the first week of January!
• Being approved (finally) for our babies on 1/21!
• Getting our dossier turned in!
• Business trip to San Antonio with my parents!
• Getting our dossier approved, and received in Ethiopia!
• Hearing we were being grandfathered into the one-trip program!
• My first niece was born! (We have 5 nephews!)
• Our monsoon yard sale that brought in amazing, much needed funds!
• Every message of hope, prayers sent, and happiness from people we know, and those we have never met!
• Being gifted thousands of dollars in the form of grants and unexpected checks from our family!
• Every time someone traveled to Ethiopia and returned with news of having hugged my babies and telling them we are coming for them!
• Photo updates
• Watching our four kids at home getting excited to meet their new siblings
• Trips to the pool as a newly unemployed mom
• Anniversary trip with Hubby
• Getting our very own Embassy appointment and learning we would wind up traveling with the mom of the "girl in the cow sweatshirt".
• Sitting in the airport restaurant after checking in for our flights and talking with my hubby.
• The Ethiopian taxi ride to our hotel at 1am
• First (shockingly strong) Ethiopian coffee
• Meeting the Holt staff, laughing with our travel group, and the visible excitement on all our faces
• Seeing and holding our children for the very first time!
• Meeting their birth parent
• Taking custody and feeling like a first-time Mom again
• Their first shower (THAT was hilarious!!)
• Arriving home and hugging my big kids!
• Our first morning in the house as a family of 9!
• Fumbling through Amharic words and being corrected by a 5 year old!
• Sweet little oiled-up brown babies fresh from the bubble bath!
• Big kids teaching little kids
• Annual Labor Day trip to local theme park
• Birthday parties
• Learning to "do hair"
• Wolaytinga songs
• The little girls singing "Our God" really loudly on the porch while handing out Halloween candy
• First Thanksgiving - "Mommy, dis BIG bila!"
• Shopping for the kids' yearly ornament in the first snow!
• First Christmas!

I know it's a long list...

and I know it's not complete!

Here's hoping for another great year in 2011!

Medium-thick skin

I've been doing some thinking lately on the comments people make when we are out and running around.

When we first started this whole adoption thing I wasn't familiar with the terminology

that is appropriate or not and I certainly didn't think I could have

possibly offended anyone with an innocent question.

Since being in the process I have been reading about other people and their journeys, and I eventually became aware of certain phrases that boil the blood of adoptive parents.

Not normally being a very "P.C." person,
I tend to take these type of social mores as a general rule of thumb,
and then do what I am comfortable with.
For example...
the whole "African American" vs. "Black" thing.
No one has ever referred to me as anything other than "white"...
certainly never German/Irish/Native-American.
I am personally a little "over" trying to please everyone with our labels.
My children are who they are.
When I fill out a form at a doctors office,
I normally circle "African"...
and leave off the "-American" part...
even though they ARE American by virtue of
their immigration status.

Hence, my confusion with the whole
"positive adoption language"
thing.

Some parents call them
"birth family"
or
"first family"
or
"biological family".

The only one that bugs me is
"real family"... as in,
"What happened to their REAL family?"
Yeah, that's offensive on a couple of levels.
First:
If you have the right to know,
you already do.
Second:
We are their real family.
I know what you are asking,
but THINK about what you just said.

Some people ask if I have any other
"natural children".
I heard this yesterday.
"Obviously, you are not the natural mother of this child."
Ouch.
As for excusing this one...
I'm working on it.
I have no happy little reply,
nothing to say...
except I should send out a general warning to anyone who
feels comfortable enough to ask questions of me in this way...
my "filter" is gradually being flipped into the "off" position.
Next time I may go full-on sarcastic and
ask if "by natural, do you mean
he doesn't appear as though he grew in my uterus?
Or are you saying my son is a cyborg?"

I do have some thick-ish skin growing a covering
over my heart though.
When I hear someone talk about
having my "hands full"...
what used to bug me now just
makes me think, wow - they think I am a SUPER mom!
And I check to be sure my cape isn't showing.

When someone wants to talk about adoption
when I am not prepared to have that conversation at that moment...
I try to envision myself being able to impact the life of more
orphaned children who may now have a family
because of a conversation I chose to have
on my terms.

I'm not saying I'm perfect,
but I am learning that not everyone
with something stupid coming out of their mouth
has malicious intent.
Sometimes they are just as ignorant as I was
just over a year ago
and I need to have some grace.

Their first Christmas!

Christmas was

wonderful!

I may have had a slight

teary mini-breakdown on the 23rd

just thinking about how grateful I am that

THIS YEAR

my babies are

HOME.

THIS YEAR

we aren't begging some

committee somewhere on the west coast

to allow us to be their parents.

We ARE the parents.

THIS year

we weren't 

looking at grainy photos

with sad eyes

and sickly bodies.

THIS year 

we had squeals of delight,

laughter that brought tears,

and overwhelming

gratitude.

Sure...

we had our bouts of

"oh my gosh they are

SO overwhelmed

and

SO tired

and 

SO needing a nap!"

but mostly

it was lots of fun!

Hearing #6 walking around

the house all day on Christmas

repeating

"Happy Birthday Baby Jesus! 

Happy Birthday, baby Jesus!"

like the last line of the traditional birthday song...

just too sweet.

Baby Boy 

terrified of the tennis-ball-sized

toy chipmunk

that squeaks

and races across the wood floors...

but thinks flying down

the toy roller coaster

is lots of fun!

Go figure.

And #5,

who thought she 

was going to get to 

"hold baby Jesus"

on Christmas

since it was His birthday

after all!

And the bigger four...

they were very sweet too.

They enjoyed helping the littles

decide what to open next,

putting their toys together,

and teaching them how to play with them.

Learning to use a Sit-N-Spin is a big skill, you know!

We had a VERY Merry Christmas!

Do you see my baby boy??

oh THERE he is! Under all that packing paper his sister is throwing on top of him!

Why can't I have a pink tricycle?

Extreme coastering. Take one.

My Favorite Things (at 4:20am)

Having been told that

my posts have been somewhat

"ranty"

lately...

I thought it was time for a 

change of pace!

So, instead of telling you about the bone scan for baby boy,
and the SUPER rude lady in the waiting room with her poorly-phrased questions,
or the funny thing that a 2nd grader said at the class Christmas party...
I will tell you about my favorite things!

It's hard to find much in the way of

"favorite" things before 6am...

but...here goes!

Since my sweet baby boy has decided that

the 4am hour is the new 6am hour...

I love this:

My coffee pot!

Sing with me now...

"Tumble out of bed and

stumble to the kitchen,

pour myself a cup of ambition,

yawnin', stretchin' try to come to life..."

(If you don't know this song...

shame on you.

Stop reading my blog and go google 

Dolly Parton, 9 to 5.)

Only my song would be titled 

4-9, but who's counting.

Another favorite thing...

I don't actually HAVE these slippers...

but considering the cold tile floor in the kitchen...

I think they would make me happy.

Next on the list...

I can't find a photo online of the grey fuzzy blanket

that stays on my couch for cuddling under 

on cold mornings when it's still dark outside... 

but I highly recommend having one of your own.

Next...

Whichever one of these three wakes me up in the pre-dawn hours.

Okay, so they aren't really lower on the list than slippers, coffee and a blanket.

Most mornings lately, it's the baby boy that wakes up around 4:20.

I get him and put him in the bed with hubby and I and pretend like he is

going to go back to sleep for another hour or two.

He likes to wiggle around...

presumably trying NOT to go 

back to sleep.

And he asks me

over

and 

over

and

over again..

if he is 

"Mommy's baby?"

and I say

"Yes... you are mommy's baby."

It's very sweet.

(Don't get me wrong...

it would be sweeter at 6am...

but it's sweet.)

Another favorite thing?

Chuggington.

It's a relatively low-irritation cartoon that

baby boy really likes for some reason.

He won't sit still and watch very much on TV

but he likes this show. 

And it's on really early.

And there are no singing/dancing/goofy humans.

What I do NOT love early in the morning??

An early Christmas present he got from

his grandparents.

Yeah. 

I don't know what I did to them to deserve this toy.

But, sometimes... 

when he's home...

this guy comes to the rescue.

He's my MOST favorite of my favorite things.

Isn't he handsome?

I know. You can't have him.

Sometimes he wakes up with the littles

and entertains them

while I "sleep in" (till 6).

Sometimes he comes and sits on the couch with me

and we watch the news 

and drink coffee

snuggled under the fuzzy blanket.

And on those days,

pre-dawn looks a lot better.

What the heck?

What is going on?

Have we landed on an alien planet??

What is wrong with people??

First the shooting at the school board earlier this week...

countless other horrible stories on the news...

things that just break your heart.

Then I read on my friend (and pastor)'s blog (his blog is here)

today about this lady who is suing Mc*Donald's

because she can't say "No" to her

kids since the marketing makes her kids want

 Happy Meal toys??

Give me a flipping BREAK!

Anyone who can't just keep driving

and tell their children NO to McD's

doesn't deserve to be a parent.

I mean, FOR REAL.

What's next??

Sue the candy people

because your kid has cavities?

Sue the toy people because 

your kids are convinced they 

NEED a new whatever-talking-toy?

Or worse...

just give in to every little thing they ask for

because you are a WIMP!
Create an entire society of people with entitlement issues
because they think they "deserve"
EVERY LITTLE THING
they want
just because.
(Oh wait.. we already HAVE that.)

Being a parent MEANS

setting limits,

saying NO,

being unpopular.

And while I'm getting all over people's business...

How about this one...

Happy Birthday, Baby Jesus!

To celebrate this year I thought I would

buy pointless things for people

who don't need them

or want them

with money I don't have

while forgetting 

why we have this holiday

and stressing myself out

so bad

that I need medication

just to get through

this month.

Happy Birthday!

UGH.

But wait! There's more!

I am so OVER middle schoolers and their

feigned interest in breast-cancer awareness.

On the news today was a story about

kids at a PA middle school being expelled for

wearing awareness bracelets that say 

I (heart) Boob*es.

The students say its all about

"Breast Cancer Awareness".

Hogwash I say.

My son earlier this year wore

another student's jacket

(a girl) 

which happened to be baby pink.

Every day.

For "breast cancer awareness".

Uh huh.

How about Breast Awareness.

That sounds more accurate to me.

Like posting a cartoon photo on facebook

is going to stop child abuse...

or posting what color bra you wear

will bring awareness to anything 

other than your bra color.

Seriously???

Get a real cause.

Do something REAL

for a REAL person

who has a REAL need.

Because...

it's not about me

or you

or McD's

or presents under a tree

or any 

other stupid

"Slacktivism"

they can dream up.

It's about being Jesus

to a world in 

SEVERE

NEED.

Heaven knows we need it.