Who am I?

I was just thinking about the movie Runaway Bride.

Not one of my favorite movies, but there is this one theme that runs throughout that struck me today.

The reporter in the movie is trying to figure out why this lady keeps leaving men at the altar. He goes around interviewing her past fiancee's and trying to get some insight. One question he asks each of them, "How does she like her eggs?" They each have a same, but different answer. "Just like me..." and then they fill in some style of eggs.

Today I was thinking about this... who am I, really? What do I know about myself, what do I believe, what do I like or dislike, and why?
 I guess I never spent much time figuring that out as a kid, young adult, or into my adult married life.

So... Here's my bullet point list about ME!

• I like cats, in theory. I do not like them peeing in the house, the litter box thing, or their aloof personalities... but I think they are soft and fluffy and I like when they purr. I don't want a cat.
• I think our dog speaks my language. I think I know what she is thinking, too and I often put that into words to translate for the rest of the family. She is big, soft, fluffy and makes me feel safe when I am home alone.
• I like the "idea" of sushi. I thought I liked it, but I really don't like the seaweed wrappers. I like the clear rice paper wrappers or the football shaped rice with the flat shrimp on top, but only if I have seafood sauce to dip them in.
• I don't like sports on TV. I can get into just about any sport live, but on TV... no thanks.
• I am scared I will screw up my black babies' hair and will be rebuked by some awesome-hair-doing black woman in public.
• I like silver better than gold, but I can't bring myself to dip my gold wedding bands in silver because I think it takes some of the sentiment out of it.
• I have recently gone from "you look too young to have 4 kids..." to no-comment... therefore, I must now look old enough to have 4 (almost 7) kids. I dislike that. Immensely.
• I bought an assorted box of chocolates because I like chocolate... but then poked holes in the bottom of most of them because I really only like the coconut filled ones and there was only one in the whole box.
• I have FIG. Food Induced Guilt. Guilt over not packing my kids' lunches, guilt over feeding them some convenience thing for breakfast or dinner, guilt over not knowing what's for dinner every night for the next week, guilt over not having more vegetables on the menu, guilt over not making my own bread, and guilt over buying pizza or drive-thru food whenever that happens. 
• I hate laundry. I hate washing it, I hate drying it, I hate folding it, I hate ironing, I hate putting it away. If there was one chore I could outsource for the rest of my life - I would gladly clean toilets, scrub tubs, vacuum, wash dishes, mop floors... but someone please invent disposable clothing!! 
• I love coffee!
• My husband is my "beauty from ashes" story. He makes me happy when I am sad, knows me better than I know myself and still loves me! He takes care of me and makes me yummy dinners. He is an amazing, award-winning, world-traveling chef and I am so proud of his accomplishments - big and small! He amazes me and I love him!
• We celebrate our 15th anniversary this summer and I am hoping we can celebrate it with an authentic Ethiopian coffee ceremony in Addis Ababa while we pick up our kids!
• I like jeans and sweaters. I like jeans and t-shirts. I do not like shorts. I look funny in capris. I don't enjoy wearing swimsuits. I own approximately 3 dresses and maybe 4 skirts. 
• I move furniture around when I clean. I mean, completely re-organize the whole room. If I am cleaning when you go to bed, you should turn on a light when you wake up or you may trip over a couch.
• I like to read, but I am easily distracted and need quiet. I sometimes wish for a long airplane ride so that I can finish a book!
• My favorite color is navy blue.
• I eat gluten-free.
• I miss my old job working in special-education at the elementary school. I miss my little friends who made me crazy, but made me laugh too.
• I can't wait to be a stay-at-home mom again. 
• I often wish I would be a more "fun" mom.
• I don't like to cook, but I love to bake.
• My favorite feature about myself - my eyes. I like that they are blue some days, green other days, never make me feel fat or short, never need much special attention, and since they are different than most... they make me feel special sometimes!
• I think I would like living on a lot of acres, with chickens and a cow.
• I believe that while all of these things describe me and my personality, my true identity comes from Christ and in Him I am forgiven, wonderfully made, precious, and treasured! It just doesn't get any better than that.

AHS - Adoption High School

I have no new thoughts today... 

but I was thinking about this post I wrote back on November 10th and it felt relevant today.

Here is my (adoption related) pet peeve of the day: adoption superiority.
What is that, you may ask?
Well... basically, when we ventured out into this territory - I thought it was one big happy family. The Adoption Community. We are one in the bonds of love, and all that jazz. Ummmm.... NO. 

It's more like Adoption High School.
Remember High School? Sure you do... jocks, nerds, goths, skaters, cheerleaders, preps, richie rich, star wars freaks, etc, etc, etc.
Well... transpose those "categories" to the adoption world and you have:

Domestic VS. International... 

Foster/Adopt VS. Infant program...

Independent Adoption VS Agency Program...

Waiting Child VS. Infant...

Special Needs VS Non-special needs...

Sibling Group VS One Child...

There is this sort of hierarchy of adopting parents - those who have adopted multiple times or multiple children are at the top - the jocks and cheerleaders of the community.

Let me also say that I don't think EVERY person is called to adopt PERSONALLY. I think that there are family situations that would not make this possible and not every person could handle a child much less more than one. I do feel that as Christians, we are called to care for widows and orphans. Church bodies are supposed to lead the way and help those who are called - allowing them to fund-raise, helping them along, lending a hand in some way. But there is this whole segment of the adoption community - the "holier than thou's" - who think that if you can't adopt for some reason, or just don't feel called to personally adopt - that you are less of a human for it. You are somehow going against the Lord's will for your life if you do not adopt. See Ephesians 4:11-12 for clarification of the way God designed His church to function. If God places adoption on your heart, you are in SIN not to do it. If you do not feel called to adopt - - I am certain beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are called to some other purpose that is just as important to His heart. We all are. If everyone were 110% focused on adoption - who would care for the elderly in nursing homes? Who would work at the soup kitchens? Who would rake leaves for the disabled this fall? Who would drive their neighbor to the doctor's office? There are many ways that we are to be Jesus' hands and feet - we can't all be the arm or the ankle. All are equally important. (Even if you do feel like the appendix in the Body of Christ... find your purpose!)

• God forbid I ever look down on another family because they are adopting from a country I don't feel called to.

• I hope I never criticize anyone for adopting one child while a sibling group waits.

• I hope I never become the "high and mighty" or the "know-it-all" who second guesses motives and choices a family is making.

• I hope I only uplift and encourage those who feel called to this often-times-not-fun process!

Oh, and those of you with children who aren't the same color as you... if I stare a little too long at the grocery store, it's not because I am judging you, it's just my mind wandering to that place where I wonder what MY more colorful family will look like. I look because I am envious - you have completed this part of the journey. I look because I would love to hear your stories - the good, the bad and the ugly - of the process and since then. I look because I love you for what you represent to my heart. 

Our agency is HOLT. We are adopting from Ethiopia.
We love Catholic Charities of Nashville for our home study because they are wonderful people!
We are requesting siblings- - maybe up to 4! Yes, that qualifies us for the loony bin... we don't care.
Ultimately, we have to make these choices ourselves as a couple and as a family.

That may put us into a certain clique in the Adoption High School... but I would like to officially claim non-citizenship with that clique.

Can't we, like, all just, like, totally get along? For real... and WHATever.

Happy Birthday, Sam!

Seven years ago today, my fourth baby boy was born!
I was beginning to become convinced that he would never arrive, but the crankiness and unsettled feeling I had all day Valentine's Day 2003 and into the next morning confirmed that I was wrong.
Samuel is such a blessing to our family! He is sweet, kind, and loving... funny, energetic and loud too!
He is the most likely to say something sweet when you are having a bad day and the one who will come lay in the bed with me when I am sick or have a migraine. He is our snuggle bug and both of his teachers have just adored him!
Today he is the baby in our family, but this year he turns into a big brother and a middle-child! One of the most profound things we heard when talking to our kids about our pending adoption was from Sam. We were asking the kids how they felt about new siblings and we turned to Sam. "Sam... how would you like to be a big brother?"
Sam says, "I don't know! I have only ever been a little brother!"
It may not sound like much, but for us - we realized that this was new to ALL of us. I have never been a mom of seven kids! Our girls have never had more than one sister. Our boys have never had other brothers. Our family has never NOT fit inside a mini-van! So many things that we DON'T know about our coming experience - but Sam taught us that it's okay to not know!

We love you Sam-I-Am! We are so blessed to have you in our family!
Have a wonderful 7th birthday!!

Everybody loves a giveaway!

My friend Jamey, fellow adoption-in-process mom and crafter is having a giveaway on her blog!
Go post and tell her Chrissy told you to stop by!
Heres the D.L.:

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You can win 1 entry for each of the following:

 Please leave a comment for EACH ENTRY

* be a follower (old or new)

* visit Uproar and tell me what your favorite item is

* become a facebook fan of MamaEnat

* Share this giveaway love on facebook or on your own blog

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You can win 2 entries for each of my buttons 

(see the left and right of your screen) 

that you add to your blog!

Let the entries begin!!

This giveaway will end on February 19 at 3:00pm.

Now come on... that's a LOT of ways to get entries to her drawing!!

Her sister is the owner of Uproar on Etsy and has the CUTEST crocheted baby things! I am partial to hats, and she will even sew in a satin liner for those of us with the need for such an upgrade!

Go see her now!

www.zehlahlum.blogspot.com 

Dossier in the mail!

Yesterday after I left work I drove up to the Catholic Charities offices to pick up my home study copies, the Agency license, the 3x notarized Home Study and the 3x notarized Power of Attorney! Everyone was so excited to give me my paperwork! There were "Congratulations!" and smiles all around! It's a little like going in for your 20 week ultrasound appointment - everyone knows that it's a big day in your life and they are vicariously happy!

I left there and went straight to the Fed Ex store.
I had to make a copy of my newly acquired documents, get my photo taken for my passport-sized photos, and check for the 15th time that I had indeed crossed off EVERY item on the checklist of requirements! I was bummed that I could not neatly put everything into chronological order corresponding with the checklist, but the authenticated documents were legal sized and everything else is letter sized. Don't they think about things like that when they choose the size of the paper for the authentication?? Maybe it's just me.

The lady taking my picture was all crabby and asks "is this for an official passport?". Not really knowing why that was important, I said "um...no?"
I got a look.
I said, "It's for my adoption paperwork - I am mailing it all in today and they need 'two passport sized photos'."
INSTANT HAPPY FACE!
She was so happy for us! She even fixed my hair for the photo! I got out my phone to show her the pictures and got  "awww...." and "Isn't she precious!" and "Oohh that one has some AT-TI-TUDE!" and "He is just going to be Mommy's little snuggle bug!" Hee hee hee!! EVERY mom loves to hear those type of things about her children!

She took my picture, walked me over to the desk where she prints them out, carefully cut them into shape and lovingly gave them to me to put into my envelope labeled "photos" (which was paperclipped behind the first two documents in the pile). She then said, "Ok... let's go mail that off!"
She walked me over to the other counter, asked a few more questions, then left me to fill out the form with the addresses on it.
Another guy came over to help me. He was also super excited and asking a bunch of questions! I was afraid I was going to fill in the wrong blank since I was trying to answer him and do the form at the same time! He was very helpful and asked me if I wanted to look ONE MORE TIME to be sure. Why, yes! I do!
So, he sealed up my big envelope and graciously allowed me to take his picture with my mailing label!

 

Such a nice guy!

And then I was done!

As I was picking up my purse to leave I said "Thank you!" to both of them and then several people chimed in with "Good Luck!" and "Congratulations!"

Very fun!

Now... I sit and track my happy little dossier on its way to Oregon!