I've been thinking and praying about this for a few days...
and finally decided to make it official.
A modified fast.
Now... don't go reading something else just yet.
Follow my train of thought on this.
Fasting in the Bible was done for a multitude of reasons.
Distress, seeking God's intervention, seeking guidance, penitence and bereavement,
among other reasons.
I am a CRAPPY fast-er.
Really.
I have blood-sugar "issues"...
no one wants to be around me when I've gone without food.
It's not pretty.
I've tried...
I began to black-out while driving.
Not good.
So any time the church says there will be a group fast,
I pray about it and don't feel like I should participate.
(which always makes me feel like a jerk)
Well, I've been feeling out-of-control with the process of our adoption right now.
This isn't about patience.
This is about my kids.
This is about a general feeling of discontent in my soul.
This is about a Mommy, grieving the absence of her children.
This is about me and Jesus.
I wasn't sure what the Lord was asking me to DO while I waited.
And then, I saw a photo.
 |
| Two of our precious boys. |
Those eyes stared right into my very soul and I knew what I was supposed to do.
See that plate of food? According to my best calculations,
it represents around 350 calories.
This is lunch. I was there.
(for quick comparison sake,
a McD's nugget kids meal with milk
has 530 calories)
I added up an average day's caloric intake to be around 1100 calories,
and decided that this is my fast.
I will eat like my waiting children...
1100 calories a day...
praying and petitioning while I wait to clear Embassy.
It's not a TRUE fast... because I'm eating.
(**No, Granny... I'm not going to starve to death.
If my sweet kids can survive on this, surely I can too!**)
I'll be eating whatever I can to stay in those guidelines.
I have many more choices than they do.
And whenever I get that email that we've cleared Embassy and are ready to travel...
I will celebrate and break this fast.
though I've been restricting food for two days
while trying to be sure this is the right thing for me.
If you'd like to join me...
let me know.
If you have encouragement to share...
please do!
I read all the comments and try to reply when I can!
Blessings!!
PRAYING for you as you do this!!!!!! That is a great idea- I am sooo like you and have severe issues with blood sugar.
ReplyDeleteIn the past I have fasted from tv or other things. Or I have spent MORE time in the Word.
PRAYING you through this and for your kiddos too!!
Thank you, Dawn! I appreciate the prayers! I'm somewhat of a "foodie" so 1100 calories a day isn't much! ;) Also fighting the tendency to think of it as a weight-loss plan and pray through the frustration of feeling like I'm starving... and thinking of my sweet kiddos.
DeleteI LOVE this! I am a crappy faster as well! I love love this! Praying for you while you wait!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jenna! I appreciate the prayers!
DeleteGreat idea! We've been doing the "A Place At The Table:40 Days of Prosperity With The Poor" and so we've been eating mostly like Ethiopia (injera with just side dish, not several to choose from) for a couple of weeks. There were a couple of times where we were out of injera so we ate like a different country. Sundays are the day to feast, within reason. It's been great. It's only at dinner time too. I'm so proud of you Chrissy. It's a great idea. And I feel it's brought me closer to God also.
ReplyDeleteSo far I feel super frustrated. I don't have much energy to get things done, and it reminds me of playing with our sweet kiddos and out middle boy who is so thin would just suddenly sit down and look horribly sad. I can't wait to get them home and just fill up those tummies with good stuff!
DeleteChrissy I think this is beautiful. A way to connect with your children. One day when they are older and you tell them this story I have no doubt that you will be connected even deeper than you could imagine. I am proud of you for choosing this path :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Katie! It sure keeps them in my prayers and thoughts all day.
DeleteCheck out The Daniel Fast (Daniel from the Old Testament)http://daniel-fast.com/
ReplyDeleteI have not done it, but am thinking about it. Read about it on FB through my connection with the First Presbyterian Church Ko'olau (near Honolulu) http://firstprezdanielfast.com/
Plenty of fruits and vegetables and whole grains without the additives, creams, etc. ... all wholesome, healthy stuff. I'm Missy's aunt and saw your post on FB. Aletha Madde, Plano TX
Hi Aletha! I'm mostly just doing calorie restriction since I already have food allergies and can't do most traditional "diets". This is more about trying to understand how my kids feel when there is no 2nd serving at lunch or going to bed feeling exhausted from not having enough to sustain. Thank you for the comment!! Your niece is such a sweet person and I'm so glad to know her!
Deletei feel consumed to join you, by looking in that beautiful and stoic face- i just feel moved. I have been thinking of you and your family.....can't wait to hear great news from the Embassy!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Autumn!! That picture is burned into my brain. I was there that day for lunch - but a friend took the photo. I'm so glad to have it, but it just stabs me in the heart every time.
DeleteI'm in.
ReplyDeleteHow is it going, Alysa?! I know there are lots of people out there who do 1100-1200 a day (as a diet or whatever), and to them this might not be a big deal... but for ME? Whew. I'm struggling.
DeleteI'll be honest, I am failing big time. But with every struggle, I think of you and pray for you and your WHOLE family.
DeleteA friend of mine introduced me to your blog. She felt my heavy heart for adopting siblings would appreciate your words. My heart jumped when I read your plans to have a modified fast. I did a similar type of fast (for health reasons). I fasted in a modifed way (eating small portions of bland foods like beans, potatoes and oatmeal) when seeking direction about adoption. I do not know you, but you are in my prayers...my heart is weighted with your longing to have your children in your arms. May your fast be deeply blessed, and the email's arrival be wonderfully soon. ~Michelle (from Texas)
ReplyDeleteMichelle,
DeleteNice to meet you! Thank you for your prayers! I appreciate it SO much knowing people I've never met are praying my kiddos home!!
Chrissy!!! I am doing this with you!!!! I tell people your story all the time. Seeing that picture of your boys has moved me even more. I am honored to join you!
ReplyDelete