I've been thinking and praying about this for a few days...
and finally decided to make it official.
A modified fast.
Now... don't go reading something else just yet.
Follow my train of thought on this.
Fasting in the Bible was done for a multitude of reasons.
Distress, seeking God's intervention, seeking guidance, penitence and bereavement,
among other reasons.
I am a CRAPPY fast-er.
I have blood-sugar "issues"...
no one wants to be around me when I've gone without food.
It's not pretty.
I began to black-out while driving.
So any time the church says there will be a group fast,
I pray about it and don't feel like I should participate.
(which always makes me feel like a jerk)
Well, I've been feeling out-of-control with the process of our adoption right now.
This isn't about patience.
This is about my kids.
This is about a general feeling of discontent in my soul.
This is about a Mommy, grieving the absence of her children.
This is about me and Jesus.
I wasn't sure what the Lord was asking me to DO while I waited.
And then, I saw a photo.
|Two of our precious boys.|
Those eyes stared right into my very soul and I knew what I was supposed to do.
See that plate of food? According to my best calculations,
it represents around 350 calories.
This is lunch. I was there.
(for quick comparison sake,
a McD's nugget kids meal with milk
has 530 calories)
I added up an average day's caloric intake to be around 1100 calories,
and decided that this is my fast.
I will eat like my waiting children...
1100 calories a day...
praying and petitioning while I wait to clear Embassy.
It's not a TRUE fast... because I'm eating.
(**No, Granny... I'm not going to starve to death.
If my sweet kids can survive on this, surely I can too!**)
I'll be eating whatever I can to stay in those guidelines.
I have many more choices than they do.
And whenever I get that email that we've cleared Embassy and are ready to travel...
I will celebrate and break this fast.
though I've been restricting food for two days
while trying to be sure this is the right thing for me.
If you'd like to join me...
let me know.
If you have encouragement to share...
I read all the comments and try to reply when I can!