It's late. I should be sleeping.
My children will begin to wake up in 5 hours and 25 minutes.
But who's counting?
However, as is the case a lot of nights... I can't sleep.
My favorite person travels for work and when he's gone I hear things that aren't there, work myself through my worst-case-scenario-survival-plans (Fire Alarm going off at 2am. Exits on the 1st floor are blocked. How will you and 12 children escape? Answer... shimmy down basketball pole in the back yard, or use children as a human ladder, or call 9-1-1 and wait. Or, attempt all of the above.) or read until I fall asleep mid-paragraph.
I was just thinking tonight about how I never would have imagined my life looking like this.
I saw that cute picture of all the kids lined up youngest to oldest on the top of my blog page and I thought "wow, I remember looking at blogs of families with a bunch of kids like this and thinking... that is one STRANGE group of people!"
Just keeping it real, yo.
And now, here I am... with a dozen children.
When I was 15 I told my mom I was NEVER having children.
Clearly, I do not have the gift of prophesy.
People keep giving us stuff.
Bags of really nice clothing, shoes, fun little extras like costumes for play...
a big fish tank for my oldest's scary snake (he's too big for his current home... shiver)...
some fun craft things that someone thought our kids might enjoy (and no evil glitter!)...
a desk for one of my kids' bedrooms...
a previously used, but still very cool, desktop computer...
books...
school supplies...
backpacks...
I mean, really. Sometimes we look at the numbers and wonder how in the world it's all going to work out... and then we are able to provide things for our children that we never thought we could, because someone dropped if off on our porch!
We are super conspicuous.
Yeah, I know... I should be used to this...
but sometimes I forget.
I forget how we look different to a lot of people.
I forget that we don't "match".
But then I notice people staring... and frankly, I don't know if they are staring at my awesome rain boots (they are bright blue and lovely)... or because we have so many kids tagging along at whatever event... or because a gorgeous Ethiopian baby girl in a tutu just called me "MOMMY!!"
Or, maybe they aren't looking at us and I'm just becoming paranoid.
My Babycakes business has been doing really well! I'm very excited about this because my goal was once to just have some spending money, then it became our adoption fundraiser, then it became the birthdays/holidays fund... and now I'm hoping to actually pay some bills out of that money! I can't believe something I wasn't even sure I wanted to sell... a hair and body product I invented for my kids... could now actually be helping us financially! It's such a blessing to me that people re-order and tell their friends about Babycakes!!
I have a few really sweet women in my life who "get" me. They listen to me tell my stories, tell me their stories, laugh with me about my movie and tv show references, and make me laugh with their random Friends quotations. They text me something to make me laugh, commiserate about homework assignments, and let me be part of their lives. I'm so thankful to have a few friends like this who will meet for coffee after the kids go to bed and help me feel like a human again!
I think that's about all for now... sorry for the random pile of thoughts... more cohesive blog post another day!
My children will begin to wake up in 5 hours and 25 minutes.
But who's counting?
However, as is the case a lot of nights... I can't sleep.
My favorite person travels for work and when he's gone I hear things that aren't there, work myself through my worst-case-scenario-survival-plans (Fire Alarm going off at 2am. Exits on the 1st floor are blocked. How will you and 12 children escape? Answer... shimmy down basketball pole in the back yard, or use children as a human ladder, or call 9-1-1 and wait. Or, attempt all of the above.) or read until I fall asleep mid-paragraph.
I was just thinking tonight about how I never would have imagined my life looking like this.
I saw that cute picture of all the kids lined up youngest to oldest on the top of my blog page and I thought "wow, I remember looking at blogs of families with a bunch of kids like this and thinking... that is one STRANGE group of people!"
Just keeping it real, yo.
And now, here I am... with a dozen children.
When I was 15 I told my mom I was NEVER having children.
Clearly, I do not have the gift of prophesy.
People keep giving us stuff.
Bags of really nice clothing, shoes, fun little extras like costumes for play...
a big fish tank for my oldest's scary snake (he's too big for his current home... shiver)...
some fun craft things that someone thought our kids might enjoy (and no evil glitter!)...
a desk for one of my kids' bedrooms...
a previously used, but still very cool, desktop computer...
books...
school supplies...
backpacks...
I mean, really. Sometimes we look at the numbers and wonder how in the world it's all going to work out... and then we are able to provide things for our children that we never thought we could, because someone dropped if off on our porch!
We are super conspicuous.
Yeah, I know... I should be used to this...
but sometimes I forget.
I forget how we look different to a lot of people.
I forget that we don't "match".
But then I notice people staring... and frankly, I don't know if they are staring at my awesome rain boots (they are bright blue and lovely)... or because we have so many kids tagging along at whatever event... or because a gorgeous Ethiopian baby girl in a tutu just called me "MOMMY!!"
Or, maybe they aren't looking at us and I'm just becoming paranoid.
My Babycakes business has been doing really well! I'm very excited about this because my goal was once to just have some spending money, then it became our adoption fundraiser, then it became the birthdays/holidays fund... and now I'm hoping to actually pay some bills out of that money! I can't believe something I wasn't even sure I wanted to sell... a hair and body product I invented for my kids... could now actually be helping us financially! It's such a blessing to me that people re-order and tell their friends about Babycakes!!
I have a few really sweet women in my life who "get" me. They listen to me tell my stories, tell me their stories, laugh with me about my movie and tv show references, and make me laugh with their random Friends quotations. They text me something to make me laugh, commiserate about homework assignments, and let me be part of their lives. I'm so thankful to have a few friends like this who will meet for coffee after the kids go to bed and help me feel like a human again!
I think that's about all for now... sorry for the random pile of thoughts... more cohesive blog post another day!
...just wanted to connect with you on something you said...
ReplyDeleteYou mentioned you stand out when you go places and all that. And although we only have 5 children (and they are all biological), I too have those moments where we look like a circus when we show up and I feel like all eyes are on us. When I kiss the top of each head as they walk into school, I feel like the moms around me are counting.
That said, I had it once brought to my attention that some looks (some) could really be out of admiration and desire to be in the same spot in life. I look at adoptive families with a joy (and sadness). I so want to be in those shoes...so want to be on the path to adopting a sibling group, (but God AIN'T movin!)...so when I see those kinds of families, it warms my heart (and I may not notice I'm looking too long).
So with my 5 kids and the mob we are at events...I decided to just assume those around me maybe secretly wish they too had a big family...'cause it is so very cool...and that's all. Any other assumptions, frankly, don't do me any good anyway.
Thanks for always sharing your heart...I always love reading your blog (even though you don't know me at all).
I LOVE this!
DeleteI love your random thoughts!!!!! Some of them sound really familiar ;)
ReplyDeleteHow do you manage to find time to do hair for all your Ethiopian girls ? It takes me a long time still (after almost 2 years home) to do an okay job (and I really don't even attempt cornrowing anymore because I just can't do it...I just detangle, wash, detangle, and do box braids or piggyback braids or two strand twists or something) for one Ethiopian daughter...and I only have 4 kids! I guess some of the girls still have relatively short hair for now...??
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your business making it to the next level!! I've told my husband sometimes I think working from home is harder than "going" to work...but it is so much more fulfilling!
ReplyDelete