Saturday, January 21, 2012



I miss my kids.
I don't understand why it takes so many months to get from court to embassy to home.
I don't understand why paperwork can't get done more quickly,
why the lists of paperwork can't just be standardized so everyone knows what's required
to get our kids home.
I miss their hugs,
I miss their laughter.
I miss the horrible faces the boys made when I gave them Peanut M&M's
and the girls begging for more gum ("Mommy! Masteca! Masteca!").
I loved hearing them talk to each other with their adorable accents,
and laugh at me when I would copy their words.
I miss a sweet boy who would boot any nearby child from their chair
just so he could offer it to me and demand that I sit down.
I love how they fed me injera and held my hands.

And it just takes longer every day it seems. It takes time.
Time that is stolen from us as a family.
Time that is stolen from them as they sit in an orphanage.
It's all about the time lost...
time spent separated.

My grandfather went to heaven on Sunday.
I'm blessed to have had time in my life with all four grandparents
and even time with great-grandparents.
I know lots of people don't ever get that time.
Lots of you probably don't remember your grandparents.
I know I'm blessed to have been gifted this many years with them.
He was a writer.
He was a painter.
He was funny,
and kind,
and loving.
He taught me to type on his typewriter -
The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.
He loved me.
I was the first grandchild.
On both sides.
I was special.

At the funeral today, my uncle was talking about my grandfather's deafness and how he never allowed it to be a handicap. He read lips exclusively and he was excellent at carrying on conversations in this way.
My uncle said that when my grandpa closed his eyes and fell asleep for the last time - it was the first time he truly felt like he couldn't talk to his dad.
There it is again.
And oh, it hurts.

This has me thinking about our separation from God.
I think about how in each of these circumstances...
my kids on the other side of the world,
so many loved ones in Heaven
and how many of us would do ANYTHING
to bridge that separation.
There's this great, desperate NEED
to close the gap between us.
That NEED to be together again.

But we have Jesus.

He bridges that gap - allows us to be with God someday.
He gives me the hope that HE planted these children in our hearts,
and HE will bring them home to our family.
He lived in the hearts of my grandparents and assures me
that since I put my hope and trust in Him... I will see them again.
He wraps me in his arms when I am sad,
strengthens me when I am weary,
and loves me when I don't deserve it.

He eliminates ALL separation.


  1. I knew I would sob if I clicked the link.. why did I click the link!?! Ahhh, because I love you!! And I am praying for you and your babies every single day. I am with you, this is so unfair. Unfair to you. Unfair to them. Just big, fat UNFAIR. Praying for the shortest wait between court and embassy in recent history.

  2. I don't understand it either. Feels so unjust to have to wait when they're already yours.
    But, i love the story of your little guy booting kids out of chairs for you. So sweet!

    I love what you wrote about Grandpa, too.

  3. I understand your feelings on the wait. We passed court in Septembef in Ghana and God willing our children will join us next month. I have had to give it all to God, let Him comfort us and our children during the long wait. Praying for your family!


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