Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Chocolate dipped unicorns rolled in sprinkles.

That's how I think my life comes across sometimes.
Sunshine, roses...
galavanting through meadows of wildflowers...
rainbows and glitter.

Let me reassure you if you are out there nodding your head and saying, "yep...she's Little Suzie Sunshine on steroids!"
I'm not.

I don't blog about the bad stuff much...
but I have hard days just like everyone else.
Today was just such an occasion.
Actually, yesterday was too.
I blame July 4th festivities, fireworks for 5 days straight, and that anniversary thing I blogged about yesterday.

What does such a day look like, you ask?
it typically starts pre-dawn with either a small girl whispering something about being awake,
a small boy flinging my bedroom door open so that it whacks into the wall creating a small sonic boom.
Thus, I sit STRAIGHT up from a dead sleep with an adrenaline rush which would allow me superpowers, if I weren't still half asleep.

After mumbling something about "go downstairs... I'm coming" and "no... it's not time for bela (eating) yet."
I roll out of bed and pout about how many other kids (and my first 4) would sleep till at least 7am every day.

If I was pro-active and made coffee the night before, I silently thank my forethought and planning, call myself a mothering genius, and crisis is sometimes avoided at this point.
If not...
I make coffee, with or without forgetting how many scoops I've already added to the filter, or prematurely dumping one half INTO the filter, half out of the coffeemaker and all over the counter. This does not improve my morning.

I try to convince the littles to play in the playroom, but instead they want to play "try to bug the crap out of mom first thing in the morning by opening and slamming the french doors".
I hate that game.
I try to drink the first cup of coffee with the news, but then recoil in grouchiness as I give in to Little Einsteins ("Little SkySize"). They clap along. I refill.

Breakfast on a bad day typically consists of me scanning the fridge and pantry for something fast, something they will eat and stay full for more than half an hour, and something I feel like preparing... while the baby boy is fussing, crying, whining and otherwise expressing his desire to eat. Now.
"Bela!!! BEEEELAAAAA!! Mommy, too unry (hungry), Mommy ees bela teyime?"
Well then, cereal it is.
"Cheerials" as they are known... poured, milked and served.

I snag the tv back to the news and try to enjoy a tiny slice of silence(ish).

On a bad day, funny stuff isn't funny.
On a bad day, cute kids aren't adorable.
On a bad day, kids laughing means trouble and all my parenting skills are all tested by each and every tiny tattle.

I look at the clock... crap. How can it be only 9am?!?!?
Check the phone. Yep. Crap. 9am. Still.

Someone starts screaming...
now another one too.
Perfect... let's see...
I'll take "someone didn't want to share, so someone took a toy and the other one hit back?" for $1000, Alex?

Idle threats, banishment back to the playroom, ignore slammed french doors, drink more coffee.

Bigger kids wake up, normally one or two at a time...
and ask what was for breakfast.
"Don't we have any OTHER cereal?"
"What ELSE is there?"
"What did the littles eat?"
"I'm not hungry..."

So I warn:
"The kitchen is closed from 9:30-11:30. Do not think of making food during that time. Breakfast now or wait till lunch."
quickly followed by.. "NO! I DON'T know what's for lunch yet!?!"

Send majority of children outside...
revolving door phenomenon... they are back inside.
"We're THIRSTY!"
"It's HOTTT!"
"I NEED a poss-sickle."

Oh. My. Gracious.
It's only 9:25.

Somehow, by the grace of God... I make it to Lunchtime which is the conjoined twin of Naptime.

Littles down for a nap...
Middles and Biggles threatened to find something or someone to play with or face Mt. Unfoldedlaundry, so not kidding.
Try to reset.
Computer, blog, facebook, email, chick flick, bath, more coffee, gardening, SOMETHING please pull me out of my funk!!

and then someone tip toes down stairs, faking a recently-awakened sleepy look.
"Mom... I'm awake."

Round Two.

Perhaps a kid show for a bit during the hottest part of the day...
perhaps I will brave the community pool...
perhaps I will do someone's hair...
who knows.

Things I KNOW I will say:
"In OR out, guys!!"
"Shut the door!"
"No, no more snack! It's almost dinner time!"
"Didn't I just give you water?"
"No, no more poss-sickles."
"Tell him 'we don't hit."
"Go say 'I'm sorry'."
"You guys better clean that up..."

Dinner time...
various taxi duties...
pajamas, teeth, potty, prayers....

but on a bad day...
Bed time might take hours.
Crying, fussing, you name it...

And of course I handle it all with kindness, grace, gentleness, dignity, calm, patience, love, joy, peace...
or I'm human and I slump into a heap onto the couch after a day like that and feel
of my shortcomings,
and I let myself get down.
Like REALLY down.

I think, "Wow. Mom of the year strikes again! You should start a therapy fund for these kids like NOW!"
And I feel bad...
and I put myself down a bit...
and I think of all the different ways I want to be...
the better ways to respond...
the things I can do to cut it off before it gets started down that path...
the missed opportunities to just love my kids...
and I feel worse.

Then I eat ice cream.

Then I remember...
I'm just as sinful as the kids.
and His mercies are new every morning.
Or every 5 minutes, as the case may be.


  1. O. M. G......I know that was REAL and truly not meant to be funny ( :0) ), BUT I chuckled A. L. O. T......and now I'm going to re-post on my FB page so everyone I know can see a typical mom's day pretty much every day of the week....NOT just watching Oprah eating bon bons. :0) You rock sista! and i soooooo feel your pain.

  2. congratulations for being so honest and so real.....your blog is PERFECT!

  3. Oh Chrissy I love you! I love your honesty and humility and your ability to make light of a not-so-light situation. I appreciate this post SOOO much. I've had many of these days-just with my 3. I've just gotten over one of those couch nights where I question every word spoken, every action taken, every attitude portrayed and have asked "why God...why did you think I could handle such a life?". I self loathe for a bit, think of all the ways I've messed up my kids...already....and start playing horrible movies in my head of what might become of my 4 blessings due to my lack of togetherness. Then I, too, am reminded of the grace of God and the gift of mercy! I'm reminded of my many shortcomings that I can then share with my kids, allowing them to see that Mommy is FAR from perfect...or even GOOD sometimes which is why she needs Jesus SO much! I'm reminded of a love that is indescribable, and if I can accomplish nothing more in my lifetime but introduce that love and creator of mercy and grace to my kids, than I've done something right!
    You are a teacher of the word! You are a lover of a mighty God who even on your worst of days, will shine in someway. Your kids know who their maker is and they know that their Mama is NOT perfect-but one day they will rise and call you blessed-maybe not for all the "Mom of the year" things you did, but for the many times you sat on their beds, asking forgiveness for falling short! I guarantee those are the things they'll remember!!
    I <3 you. I appreciate you. And GIRL, I stinking MISS you!!!!!

  4. =) can relate to SO much of this! His mercies are new every day, AND every five minutes. I forget that in regards to myself. Thank you for the reminder.

  5. I nearly choked on my coffee when you said--but instead they want to play "try to bug the crap out of mom first thing in the morning by opening and slamming the french doors". I know you posted this after a hard day, but I love seeing your humor in this! I try to do the same thing (after the fact) on those days when my Momma of the Year Trophy has snot and popp smeared all over it ;)

    My husband and I are about to start the process of adopting. We are very much pulled toward Ethiopia and we want a sibling group. That is why I'm SOOOOOOOOO glad I somehow stumbled across your blog. It's great to read of another family with a heart for siblings.

    Blessings to you and your sweet family!


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