I can relate.

I promise I'm a grown-up.

Keep that in mind as you read further.

My hubby travels a lot for work. 

When he is gone overnight... I have a hard time relaxing enough to fall asleep.

I tend to stay up late...

watching a movie, watching House Hunters International, writing a blog post, chatting with Jamey...

anything but going to bed early and banking a few extra hours of sleep.

I sit in my bed doing whatever I can until I exhaust myself to the point where I can just fall asleep quickly.

I can relate to my babies.

I'm hyper-vigilant.

My youngest two are "hyper-vigilant". In the adoption world, this means a child who has dealt with trauma in the past, and who now finds it nearly impossible to relax - especially at bed/nap times. 

This hasn't always been the case. He used to be one of the easiest of the little three to put to bed. Just lately though, he has become very difficult to put to bed at night. He goes right to sleep at nap time, it's just bed time that causes stress. He sticks out his bottom lip, makes the biggest frown I've ever seen, his eyes get even bigger, and he starts to cry. It's so hard. I don't want to let him cry since he isn't trying to manipulate me. At some point over the past couple of weeks, someone flipped a bed time switch in his brain. I don't know what's wrong!

Then tonight...

he used a word!

When I was bribing him offering benefits for compliance, I suggested that we can go ride bikes in the morning! He loves to roll down the hill on his "bike", so I thought it might get his mind off of things.

He looked at me like I was nuts... stuck that lip out EVEN farther and said 

"No! No bike... dark! Scary!"  ...and he pointed to the window.

Ah HA! The darkness is the instigator. 

Poor baby boy.

I told him he doesn't have to be scared anymore... that he is safe in his room, in our house, and that Mommy is here to take care of him. Then I grabbed a blankie, covered up... and laid down next to my baby until he went to sleep. 

Because, after all, I know how it is.