HA! What did I know???

THIS is a FUNNY, FUNNY post...
I wrote it long ago...
before I had any experience in this whole adoption thing...
and WHAT the HECK was I THINKING?
If I could go back in time, I would SHAKE me!!

Check it out:

Enjoy the ride!

(written 10/22/09)

We took the kids to Kentucky Kingdom over Labor Day weekend this year. We enjoyed spending the day running from ride to ride, and watching the kids experience several "first's".
First roller coaster, first wooden roller coaster, first upside-down ride, first water ride, first water slide ride...

Our favorite was the Kentucky Rumbler! It's a wooden coaster but it is very well made and doesn't smack your head side to side into the padded harness while you ride. We rode it at least 10 times that day! The thing I remember most about the ride is getting buckled in at the beginning and the guy giving the instructions tells you to keep your arms and legs inside until the ride is over, blah blah blah... but then he says " Enjoy your ride on the Kentucky Rumbler!"

I was thinking about that today as  I scanned and emailed our home study application into the social worker!! This feels like that buckle-in warning.

Some notes to my future self as we embark on this ride:
Waiting in line: Sometimes there may be a wait. Waiting stinks. We all think waiting stinks. Being impatient while waiting will not make anyone move any faster. Just settle down, take a deep breath, and try to find something to do to keep yourself busy. People watch, play with the kids, hug your husband, plan the next fun thing to do. Before you know it... it's your turn!
Buckle in: You know this ride has up's and down's... it takes a long time to get up the ramp to the top and when you come down, sometimes you feel out of control. It's ok... you are totally SAFE.
Arms up: What fun is it to hold on, white-knuckled, eyes closed, full of fear? Arms up! Trust the harness to keep you safe and abandon your fears at the gate!
Say Cheese! :There is this point on the ride where they take your picture... try to remember that someone will see this and determine from that photo what you thought of the ride while you were on it. Remember others are watching you, for better or for worse, and you may be the only picture they ever see of this process. Be real, but watch that attitude.
Look around at the top: That point at the top when you are about to take off for the craziest part of the ride... that's the time when you are mostly still... look around and enjoy the view! Anticipate, but enjoy the moment you are in!
The end : Say thank you. Smile at the people getting on the ride after you. Don't scare them by telling them about the scary parts... let them figure that out for themselves. They might not be scared of the same parts you are scared of.
Maybe you even want to run back around and do it all over again! ;)

Taking care of "our own" first

I don't remember where I was recently when the topic of adoption came up...

I may have overheard it at the pool, or read some bitter person's blog.

However, the statement went something like:

"Why would anyone adopt from another country when 

there are SO many children in the 

US Foster Care system that need homes, too?"

Well, let me answer that from our family's perspective on this particular adoption.

We wanted to maintain birth order in our family.

I realize, this isn't a big deal to many families, but it was for us.

Enough said.

At the time that meant adopting a child under 6 years old from the foster care system.

We knew that wanting siblings and younger kids would be a tough call from the US system, not impossible, but more difficult.

We also feel that God didn't draw the boundaries on our maps and tell us to stay inside our zone.
Ethiopia is as much "our own" as Texas or Kentucky.
They are all His...
and He wants families for all of them.

So, for those "take care of our own" folks out there...

Go for it!

Adopt domestically!

But, if you read your Bible... God is pretty clear about going into all of the world... not just those boundaries someone drew on a map. 

It's not always about helping "our own", it's about who becomes your own.

I have seven children.

4 home-grown, and 3 from Ethiopia.

They are all MY OWN.

Forever.

And that is a beautiful thing!

Court Approval!

We PASSED court!!

We have 7 children!

They have our last name!

They are no longer orphans!

We are theirs and they are ours!

It's just amazing.

AAHHhhhh-mazing.

We officially passed on June 1st, we just found out today!

Yesterday was our 15th wedding anniversary.

We had been waiting on the info about our court date 

since Tuesday at the opening of business Pacific time...

but there was no news.

I called the agency...

they still had no news.

There is a problem sometimes

getting news from ET to the USA in

a timely manner.

Sometimes it's a power outage,

sometimes it's no internet,

sometimes its whatever.

But we waited.

Tuesday... no news.

Wednesday... no news.

Thursday... no news.

But then today...

as we were driving back from our

anniversary get-away in Atlanta...

my phone went

*DING!*

And there it was!

THE email.

"Court Approval!"

I nearly crashed the car.

Hubby was on a business call and I 

excitedly passed him my phone, 

pleading (somewhat) silently with him to read it!!!

Once he FINALLY got off of the phone

 (which was probably 90 seconds, but FELT like 10 minutes)

he opened the message.

And so, at 11:27am today...

we found out we are the parents to 7 beautiful children!

Mr. Passport

I have this Mr. Passport.

I went to the post office on the busiest mailing day of the 

Christmas season to put in my application

 and get photographed.

I got it in the mail in early January.

It was a fun envelope to open.

It was hope with a government stamp.

Like, "Here! Go travel somewhere awesome!"

Since then it has sat in our fireproof safe.

Just sitting there.

Getting all indignant.

Now Mr. Passport is like 

"Yo. Whassup with the box?

I need STAMPS.

Like COOL ones.

This box is TINY.

And not any fun."

I know.

I feel your pain Mr. Passport.

Soon I hope...

I will get you your stamp.

Christianese

I apologize in advance for offending you.

It will probably happen if you keep reading.

You have been warned.

Just in case you are wondering, 

we have no news on our court date yet.

For some reason, emails are not arriving from Ethiopia to Holt.

No, I don't know why it is that Holt can't get court 

outcomes when other agencies are able to hear.

So, back to the title.

Christianese.

What is this you ask?

Simple.

It's the "churchy" language people speak when they

try to encourage someone else or explain away their troubles.

For example.

We have been waiting, matched to our kids, since late January.

Our dossier arrived in Ethiopia in March.

People are in Ethiopia TODAY taking custody of their kids

who they were matched with in late March.

And what do I hear when I complain about this?

"It's all in God's timing."

Yes indeedy.

So if I have a piece of paper sitting on my desk for a 

month and neglect to sign it, that's God's timing when 

I finally remember it sitting there and mail it in.

Not just that I am an idiot and should have put a 

brighter colored sticky note on the front.

or...

"God can take care of your babies 

better than you can right now anyway."

Uh huh. 

Thanks.

I feel much better now.

So, a homeless, starving child who lives in a dump 

scavenging food from the trash is better off there because 

the Lord can take better care of him than a parent could right now.

I think not.

This falls into the same category as things I heard when I miscarried.

"You wouldn't have wanted that baby... it was probably deformed or something."

or...

"These things all happen for a reason."

or...

"Jesus wanted to keep that baby with him instead."

Well...

I say, what kind of God would give you a 

child for a few weeks, 

instilling hope and joy,

only to rip it away.

Not MY God.

I don't know about YOURS...

but MY God says we live in a fallen world,

full of consequences of sin.

I don't think He makes mistakes.

I don't think he messes up a baby then says

"oops...recall on that one!"

All children are a gift from the Lord.

 

Which brings me back to adoption Christianese.

"Patiently waiting on the Lord".

Yes... but is it REALLY God holding up my paperwork?

Or is it MAYBE, just MAYBE another 

consequence of living in a fallen, imperfect world?

"God is just teaching you a lesson about something."

Seriously?

I am all for learning lessons, but when

you are in the middle of something super hard..

is it really the most wise time to bestow such 

wisdom on someone who is hurting?

Instead of loving the lesson we wind up disliking the teacher.

Which one of us would love a parent who teaches us about 

the stove being hot by placing our hand 

directly on the burner while it is glowing red?

I believe God ALLOWS things to 

happen so that we can learn and grow.

I don't think He sits up there just waiting to 

smash us to smithereens so we can learn 

something valuable.

So, please.

The next time you wish to bless someone with your 

vast expanse of Biblical knowledge...

remember this:

Sometimes the best thing you can say is just

"I am so sorry."

"I wish I had something to say that would help."

"What can I do to help you?"

"How can I pray for you right this minute?"

"I hate that this has happened/is happening to you."

or 

just give them a hug.

And don't walk away after 2 seconds.

Let them cry if they need it.

And just be there.